The Captivating Woman

Designed with purpose.

2018 – The Year of…

Photo by Flavio Gasperini on Unsplash

For those of you that have been with us in the beginning, within the wild middle of posts being thrown out weekly, or near the end, THANK YOU!

It breaks my heart that 2016 was the year of soil for my life, then 2017 and 2018 happened and it was like the soil dried up and every good fruit died with it.

Please tell me you relate. Please tell me that I’m not the only woman who has felt like this! Actually, I do know that I’m not the only one. It’s really weird – my friends from college have said things like, “I’m struggling to pray. I am struggling to connect. I just don’t have that fire like we did when we were in college.” Right there with you girlfriend. In college, going to coffee shops and having a bible study was something we loved to do. Now, I am exhausted after an 8-9 hour day of work which means that connecting with the Father and reading the Bible sounds like a chore…a miserable chore. I’ve asked the Lord why I feel this way. I’ve had long discussions with friends about this topic. You know what? The Father answered me and it was brutal.

You didn’t choose Me. You choose the world.

He’s right. Even though I went to church and said a few Christian-ese things in 2018, I wasn’t putting Him first. My spirit could feel the darkness, the bitterness, the anger. I choose to gossip over stepping out of the conversation. I choose to watch endless amounts of TV over choosing to spend time with Him. I chose the world.

This isn’t rocket science. Eat a lot + no exercise =you gain weight.

Just like our spiritual health – no prayer + no Jesus + a little hit of Him like a drug on Sunday morning = a person who feels so detached from the voice of the Lord. I was gaining worldly weight.

2018 was the year of the world. It was the year of me and what I wanted and how I wanted to do it. I’m not saying I did anything criminal or close to it, but I was a fake Christian. I played the part like an Emmy award actress.

2018 wasn’t all bad, fake, news. Around September, I finally took a breath of fresh air – heavenly air. I received this prophetic word that made me cry all the way home. My friend Abby said, “I see Jesus hammering a nail on your head. The nail is truth and righteousness. The nail has cracked your head and you’re stepping out as a new person.”

Truth and righteousness.

Do you ever feel that once you’ve sinned a bunch that God is saying, “Woaaaah! We got to take back her calling. We were not expecting her to do that! Why did we ever think she could do it?” Oh, girl, I’ve felt it. I felt like The Captivating Woman was completely dead because of all that I have done…all the sin I dabbled in. But here is the Father saying, “I am nailing truth and righteousness into you.” I felt like I lost my qualification. Turn to me reading the lineage of Christ (Matthew 1) – imperfect people, people who did things their own way, yet God still allowed them to play a big part in the Kingdom.

My hope, my prayer, my dream for The Captivating Woman is just obedience. The Lord isn’t saying for this to be perfect, for posts to be coming every Tuesday and Thursday, and to have a following as large as SheReadsTruth.

He is calling for obedience. He is calling for connection. He is calling for a beautiful friendship.


2016: The year of soil.

I can’t believe that we are in the year 2017. I remember when it was 2000 and people were prepping for Y2K. I was 10 at that time. Thinking about 17 years into my future seemed like eternity. I remember thinking 27 was so old! (insert eye roll) But here we are!

Every year I like to reflect on the past year. It’s fun to see the growth in my life. I can see that the things that were happening in March caused the things that happened in November. I can also see the areas that were rough and how I could of done things differently. My mentor would always tell me to be a better version of yourself in the next year. So even if I had a bad season, I can use those situations as an opportunity for growth.

Since the year is over, we can see the whole time frame. We lived it; we can see it in it’s whole. Now I’m terrible at writing in my journal on a daily basis so it can be hard for me to reflect on the specifics. I couldn’t really tell you how I was exactly feeling in certain months. But I can give a general overview on what God was doing in the year 2016, especially with the soil in my life.

Reflecting is good for you.

I shared on Instagram a quick piece of my reflection of 2016. If you don’t follow me on there, that’s okay! Here’s what I shared on January 1st:

“hey 2017. good to see you. I’ll be honest, I already miss 2016. 2016 was a legit year for me. the soil in my life got healthier. my roots grew deeper and stronger. I saw a field of wildflowers erupt, rich and full of color. I got hurt in 2016. rocked out at many concerts. made friends with strangers in different states. moved to another state. started a new job that allows me to travel – a dream that I’ve carried for many years. cried…a lot. I have watched The Captivating Woman grow. I didn’t brush my hair a lot (I liked the texture of unbrushed hair, alright?) I’ve learned to be more open. I’ve learned more about myself and not being ashamed of my body. I’ve seen God open doors and close many. 2017 will be amazing. I turn 27 in 29 days. I’ll hop on many flights this year. I’ll go to more concerts (crossing my fingers I see Bruno Mars, Johnnyswim, and Joseph this year). my word for the year is: grace. grace on my body. grace when I feel like I am not enough and feel like I can’t offer anything. grace when I haven’t accomplished things. grace for others, especially because I know they will not give me everything I need. I am thankful for y’all. I can’t wait to explore 2017 will you!”

At the beginning of 2016, my church started a long series on the word grow.

With growth, there are different parts to it.

Though you can plant a tree, the soil needs to be just right for the tree to do what it’s supposed to do. With the right amount of water and nutrients, the tree will grow and thus produce fruit. It’s an ongoing cycle. You might have the soil perfect one season, but the next season it could lack all nutrients. Our pastor asked us to pray and see what God wanted us to work on. I was pretty positive God was going to say that 2016 was going to be a year of producing fruit. It wasn’t.

“Sarah, your soil needs to be revived. It’s lacking nutrients. It’s dry. You’re not sitting next to the river to receive what you need.”

I felt so small.

Why?

I’ve been a Christian for many years. I run a Christian website. I mentor young girls. Starting with the soil felt like Christianity 101. I could not be starting with Christianity 101.

But there isn’t a Christianity 101 class that we take when we accept Christ. We just dive in. It’s thrilling. God reminded me that no matter how many years I have known Him, the soil in my life is important and needs to be maintained, dug up, and watered everyday.

So I worked on the soil this year. It was rough. It looked a lot like how my dad maintains the soil in his garden. He’s taking out old plants, digging up the dirt, adding in rich soil, mixing it up, a little water here and there, and then repeating the process when needed.

It takes time.

Because of the process (and yes, it’s a process), I saw amazing things happening. Relationships grew stronger. I began to trust the Lord that He was for me and preparing things ahead of time. I got a grown-up job (#adulting). I was content with myself. I honestly felt beautiful for the first time (something I’ve struggled with for many years). I saw God open some huge doors when I believed, in the past, they could never open up.

The time working on the soil was and is still important. Do I think that I’m done working in the soil? Absolutely not. I believe that it’s something I’ll never stop working on.

This is what I learned in 2016.

I never want to think that I’ve made it with my relationship with Jesus. There will never be a time when I’ve figured it all out. I will go back to the soil, daily. I will sit next to the river of Life. I’ll still feel frustrated when I don’t see change come when I thought it was going to be something new happen at a specific time.

But I’ll see wildflowers bloom.

I’ll see the change from the obedience of just resting next to the river and allowing Him to be the Gardener. He wants me to relentlessly chase after what He has called for me. He has called me to be brave, to jump, to dive when I don’t know what’s below. He wants me to alive. To dream. To dream with others. He wants me to see life as colorful and adventurous, even with the bumps along the way.

He wants me to trust Him fully. He is a friend, a kind and intentional one at that.

He is good and good things are formed by Him.

Meet Trista Eazell

photo credit: Jana Contreras Photography

Hello 2017. If you’re new to our site and ministry, let me introduce you to a little sliver of our site that I love. Every month we introduce a “Captivating Woman” – someone who is doing the call on their life. They don’t have to have it all together – they are daily stepping in faith, trusting that God is leading them. I met Trista through Instagram. She was using our hashtag #thecaptivatingwoman and I loved what she was talking about. You need to go add her on Insta – @tristaannmarie. We are excited to share her story with you.

Question: Where do you live & how old are you?
Answer: I live in Sonoma County (an hour north of San Francisco), and I am 24.

Q: Tell us about Trista – what is your story?
A: I wasn’t supposed to be born. My birth mom became pregnant at 13, and refused to disclose who the father was. Termination of the pregnancy was heavily encouraged by those around her and society. I would ruin her life. Statistically I wouldn’t do well in the world. I would probably follow in her parents and her cycle of poverty, drugs, abuse and crime. Yet, she chose to give birth to me. Eventually I was adopted by a very loving family who sacrificially gave me resources and love. By many standards I am thriving in society. I have two college degrees under my belt (2% of former foster care children graduate college) and am continuing with school to become a teacher on a full scholarship.

I am able to hold on a job, am active in my community, substance abuse has never been something I’ve struggled with, and am blessed to be surrounded by many people of whom I love.
Because my birth mom chose to give me life, and my adopted patents chose to support my life, I am able to live it.

Q: Because of your story of being adopted, when did you become active in helping young women in crisis pregnancies?
A: A little over a year ago a speaker for the non-profit Save the Storks, Jeff Gilbert (former drummer of Kutless) came and spoke at my church about the amazing work Storks was doing for women with unplanned pregnancies. After he came and spoke, we were sitting and hanging out at my pastors house and he wanted to hear my story. That night God, Jeff and I knew that without a doubt a very important partnership had begun. 

Q: Tell us about Save the Storks.
A: Save the Storks is a beautiful non-profit organization that has luxury busses all over the country travel to help women with unplanned pregnancy have access to free-no-strings-attached-top-of-the-line ultra sounds and std testing. They connect these girls and women with support systems, education and provision to carry them through being pregnant and help them succeed in being new moms or help them with the adoption process.

They aren’t campaigning to shut any clinics down and there is absolutely no shame involved with those who decide to have an abortion. In fact those women are also given resources, counseling and love.  They love and support ALL women. I am all for women’s rights, and I believe that Save the Storks is too. Why? Because Save the Storks isn’t a typical pro-life movement. They aren’t bent on making abortion illegal (abortion is legal) they are wanting to help support women so that abortion isn’t the only option that they have.  The majority of post abortive women felt like they had no other choice. I am proof that with the right love and support the statistics of an unplanned pregnancy can be defeated! Here are some pretty cool facts about Save the Storks:

  • 4 out of 5 women who board a stork bus choose life- and are supported through and after birth with all the resources they need
  • About 360 women & babies are saved from abortion each year per bus
  • The staff who run the stork buses also offer post-abortion counseling, we ensure that every woman and abortion staff member who come into contact with our team are loved on.
  • 24 buses on the road meeting women right where they are
  • 21 Pregnancy Resource centers are under contract and in production

Q: What is your role with Save the Storks?
A: I an an ambassador for them, I go and speak at churches and events sharing my story and building awareness how people can support Save the Storks and help women and children in crisis.

Q: What do you think has been a big theme in your life that God continues to replay?
A:  Undoing. On my right forearm I have the word “undone” tattooed, referring to Isaiah 6 when Isaiah first encounters the holiness of God he gasps “Woe to me for I am undone.” And then God goes and cleanses Isaiah of his sins and sends him out to do His work. There have been several points in my life where I came face to to face with the infinite vastness of God’s holiness, mercy and goodness that has left me utterly shattered. I have struggled life long with several chronic illnesses and depressions that have kept me in a constant state of needing grace. It’s a beautiful and painful process, letting God into every aspect of your heart. I have found that there are corners and edges that he knows very well and is waiting for me to uncover them. He is patient, then when I turn to Him asking for more of Him, he turns to me and asks me to let His light into my depths. Depths that I didn’t know existed. To know God is to be broken and remade. I know that my heart still has miles of surrendering to do with each new day and I have learned to let the undoing occur because on the other side of the pain is beauty and joy I couldn’t even begin to find words for. That’s the mystery of our beautiful and Holy God.

Q: What three words describe you?
A: Redeemed, Bibliophile, & sassy.

Q: Favorite verse?
A:  “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” – Romans‬ ‭12:12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Q: Favorite story in the Bible?
A: When King David discovers Jonathan’s crippled son Mephibosheth is alive, instead of having  Mephibosheth killed as would’ve been the protocol,  David treats  Mephibosheth as his own son, as royalty, and gives him a place at his table. I love this story, because David is a man after God’s heart, adopting and loving the banished and broken and restoring them to royalty.

Q: What makes a Captivating Woman?
A:  I believe all women are captivating. Some of us have forgotten our beauty, but that doesn’t change the fact that She was created in the image of a beautiful, mighty and fierce God. A woman aware of her astonishing and captivating beauty is someone who cannot help but highlight the goodness she sees in the world. She is an echoing melody that awakens a desire deep within us all to live abundantly in the joy, peace and freedom that the Holy Spirit is calling is to. She is aware of how much she is loved and this love overflows to all who encounter her. She has she the dirt and weight of shame and is clothed with light and honesty. She knows how to cry and she knows how to rejoice. I believe every women is meant to be her, and can be her.

Q: Who are some Captivating Women in your life that we need to know about?
A: This is a hard question! I am so honored to be surrounded by many Captivating Women.

1. Ashley Noelle – This lovely woman is a mentor of mine who is constantly and boldly pointing others towards truth and love. She, her husband and three children left California and moved to Colorado to work in full time ministry at Save the Storks. I once was having a really bad day/melt down and texted her a jumble of emotions and prayer requests. One of my complaints was “today I feel so overwhelmed and broken, and so many are relying on me to be there for them and to be strong” and she got real with me. “Trista! You don’t need to have it all together to be a testimony of God. This makes you real. Relatable.”  And that’s the kind of woman Ashley is. She doesn’t disguise her life when it’s messy or uncomfortable. And it’s captivating.

2. Amanda Anderson – Amanda is my best friend in the whole world. She LOVES people, and is always giving of her time and heart to those she meets. She’s captivated by people’s stories and always looks for the best in them. She’s a talented photographer and musician. She became very mysteriously sick this year and it’s been hard to see her such a shell of who she normally is. Please keep her in your prayers!

3. Mallorie Cooper – Is a stunning friend and fellow blogger. She exudes grace, kindness and is such a good mom. When you enter her house it is always clean, warm, and fresh with the scent of something freshly baked. She will make you dinner, go on adventures with you, teach you how to curl your hair better, drive you around town when your car is broken and check in to make sure your heart is OK. She loves Jesus and her family and others and she does it with style, grace and simplicity.

Hymn: Love Divine, All Loves Excelling

We are entering into the last week of advent. The theme this week is love. We pray that this week will bring you to a closer place with the Lord.

Love Divine, All Loves Excelling
words by: Charles Wesley

Love divine, all loves excelling,
Joy of heaven to earth come down,
Fix in us thy humble dwelling,
All thy faithful mercies crown;
Jesu, thou art all compassion,
Pure unbounded love thou art,
Visit us with thy salvation,
Enter every trembling heart.

Breathe, O breathe thy loving Spirit
Into every troubled breast,
Let us all in thee inherit,
Let us find that second rest:
Take away our power of sinning,
Alpha and Omega be,
End of faith as its beginning,
Set our hearts at liberty.

Come, Almighty to deliver,
Let us all thy life receive,
Suddenly return, and never,
Never more thy temples leave.
Thee we would be always blessing,
Serve thee as thy hosts above,
Pray, and praise thee without ceasing,
Glory in thy perfect love.

Finish then thy new creation,
Pure and sinless let us be,
Let us see thy great salvation,
Perfectly restor’d in thee;
Chang’d from glory into glory,
Till in heaven we take our place,
Till we cast our crowns before thee,
Lost in wonder, love, and praise!

Hymn: Joy to the World

Joy. When Jesus was born, joy was expelled! Our prayer for this week is to engage in the joy of the Lord. Let it spill over.

Joy to the World
words by: Isaac Watts

Joy to the world! the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heav’n and nature sing.

Joy to the earth! the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ,
While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains,
Repeat the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make his blessings flow
Far as the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of his righteousness,
And wonders of his love.

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