Sarah Sandoval, Author at The Captivating Woman

October 25, 2016

Rejection: How I Started Believing in Lies

From a young age, I’ve been rejected.

I can recall the first time I was rejected by some girls my age – they were my neighbors. They had told me that I was “dumb” because my mom homeschooled my brother and I. They wouldn’t let me play with them because in their eyes, I was unusual. I jetted back to my house on my pink bike, crying because of their hurtful words. When you’re young and haven’t experienced rejection like that, it starts to build blocks in your life – negative blocks of shame in this case.

As a homeschooler, I was constantly looked at as the typical Christian weird-o. I felt like I was in this weird box that no one understood. I struggled to find friendships with girls, not because I was socially awkward, but because no one wanted to be friends with the homeschooler.

Junior high: this is where my heart really began to become tattered.

I was not a slim girl in junior high. I didn’t wear what was cool and I definitely was forbidden to wear makeup until high school. I had a gap in my teeth and my brows were out of control. I wasn’t the girl the guys chased – well, so I believed. My diaries were flooded of names of boys I crushed on at church and church camp. But at that young age, I claimed in my life that I was unapproachable, undesirable, and not worthy to have a boyfriend. Again, more building blocks began to set into my heart.

In high school, it was different but kind of the same. A new breed of guys were interested in me, yet I was denied by the athletic, good looking, popular boys. I felt like I wasn’t enough.

Ugly. Weird. Flat hair. Odd wardrobe. Gapped teeth. Not confident. Chunky. Not hot. These were lies I was hearing.

As an adult, I’ve been rejected in jobs. There are times when I instantly want to believe that I was too dumb for the job or not good enough to even be considered.

Because I was rejected, I felt like a 1 out of 10.
Because I was rejected, I became hurt and I hid.
Because I was rejected, I claimed lies about myself.

I’m 26 now but over the past year or so, I’ve started to identify these lies.

As I’ve seen God’s unfolding in my life, especial when a door doesn’t open, I try to not go rushing to my grab bag of lies to pull something out that’s false about me. This hasn’t been easy – it’s been quite difficult. See, I would be in the Word and then on social media waiting for affirmation of a picture I posted. If I didn’t get a large amount of likes, I felt rejected. I would be in the Word then waiting for a guy to text me back, hoping that Prince Charming would sweep me off my feet with a charming yet flirty conversation. But again, I felt rejected when I didn’t get what I hoped for.

When our hands are involved in two sources, it’s hard to identify what’s truth and what is not.

I’m going to the Lord as a source, but I’m waiting for a man to tell me who I am. That can’t work. Because I know that I know that I know, as women we fully intake everything a man says about us, from the most positive compliment we have ever received to the most negative remark, which could be about our bodies, our minds, or our personalities.

I know this all too well, because I was rejected by a man who I had invested many years in. A guy I considered marrying one day.

When we are rejected by a man, for example, the blocks form. The lies take root. We start watering those roots with more lies. And the Lord is there saying, “No, no, no, no, no…you are not these lies. You’re my Daughter. You are worthy. You are talented. You are amazing. You are beautiful. Don’t claim these lies.”

We will be disappointed and rejected by human beings. This will always happen. Even if it’s your sweet grandmother or your husband of many years, they will disappoint you.

When we are rejected, we automatically need to nip the lie that starts to form. This has to become a habit in our lives.

We also need to ask God, “What do You think of me? Who am I in Your eyes?”

Rejection hurts, that’s no lie. But rejection should not cultivate lies, and as daughters of a Royal King, we need to place all these lies at the feet of Jesus for Him to flip through them to rip up and make known who we are.

September 20, 2016

When I Stopped Growing Spiritually for My Future Husband

For as long as I can remember, I was told to pray for my future husband. “Sarah, pray for him. Pray for his purity. Pray his health. Pray.”

Recently, I’ve found some old journals with prayers for my future husband. I’m sure some of you have journals like that. “My love…where are you? What are you doing currently? Remember that I’m waiting for you.” I feel silly thinking about my little love letters. I’m a romantic at heart and words are my love language, but these letters were a little interesting and somewhat embarrassing. As much as I want to burn them, I just can’t. They are humorous, but sweet.

My prayers soon developed into making sure that I was becoming a woman worth marrying. It was my focus. I thought, “If I serve in church, my future husband would be impressed and more attracted to me.” Or, “If he saw my prayer journal, he would know that I was a Proverbs 31 woman.” I wanted to be everything for a man, even at a young age, that I started using God to make myself look better.

I was serving God to impress a man.

I was using God like men use puppies to gather a group of girls together.

I was growing spiritually for a man and not for the benefit of enhancing my own relationship with Him.

My Facebook posts were little plugs to get men. Who needs Christian Mingle when you can post a Jesus centered status?! Yeah, that’s what I thought.

No wonder I never felt content in my relationship with God – it was all for show. I could feel Him press into my heart and say, “You don’t know Me intimately. You aren’t wanting to know Me. You are using Me to grow for a man, for a future husband, for a future life. But what about now?”

I hope I’m not the only one who does this. I’ve heard from a choir of girls that say they are preparing themselves for marriage. Now before you click out of this, stay with me on this thought.

When we spend time with Jesus and grow with Him, it should be because we love Him and want to be near Him. In doing so, our relationships, our friendships, our work atmospheres will change. It’s just what happens when we want to be with Jesus. The Lord has been slamming me with this thought:

If you want to live like your Father, get to know your Father.

The by-product of spending time with Jesus is a life of hope, peace, and joy. In Him, I find true contentment, my identity, my life.

I know that God doesn’t want me to using Him like a puppy. God wants me to serve Him, love Him, & grow with Him because it’s important for me. I can already tell that if my intention to grow spiritually is solely for a marriage, I will miss out on many things that the Lord wants to do and show – I will highly be disappointed.

Keep praying for your future husband and even your current husband, but remember that your relationship with Jesus is for your benefit foremost. Your relationships will look and feel better when you’ve made your relationship with Jesus your priority.

August 23, 2016

Year 2 – What’s in Store with The Captivating Woman?

Welcome to year 2 of The Captivating Woman!

If you were with us from the beginning or if this is your first time on our site, hi! We are thankful you are here. We LOVE that you’re here with us!

There are a lot of new things happening with The Captivating Woman and I wanted to share that with you all. We have been excited for our relaunch because we believe that God is going to be doing a great thing in year 2.

Let’s talk about what’s happening with The Captivating Woman.

We doubled our team! Yes! DOUBLED! From the beginning, all of our team members were from California and now we have people all over the United States and even in the UK and Philippines. How cool is that? Check out The Team page to learn more about our TCW members.

We will be focusing on devotionals in year 2. If you remember, last year we had our Advent series which was awesome. But as I was praying for the site and what God was wanting us to, devotionals kept popping up in my prayer time. We are excited for those to launch – be on the look out.

In prayer, the Lord was pressing into my heart the vision and mission statement behind The Captivating Woman. As our ministry continues to grow, we wanted to have a sincere focus for it.

So, why do we exist?

Vision: Inviting women to experience freedom and edification in their lives through scripture and honest conversations.

Mission Statement: Celebrating women and the Creator who intricately designed us.

We pray that our vision and mission will be found in everything that we do. Our ultimate goal is to allow God to be used through us – because without Him we are nothing. We cannot be captivating woman if we are not allowing Jesus to shine through us.

May 12, 2016

Meet Stephanie Hinrichs

You meet a lot of cool people on Instagram. Search certain hashtags & you’ll instantly find people that you want to be friends with. That how I feel about Stephanie. I couldn’t tell you how I found her, but I did. I fell in love with her feed on Instagram. But there is something you need to know about this girl – she runs a business that serves other people. Her heart is big and it reminds me of the heart of God. Read more about Stephanie Hinrichs and Interlaced Goods.

Question: Where do you live & how old are you?
Answer: I’m 25 & I live in Austin, TX.

Q: What were you doing before your current job?
A: Before I became a full time barista, I was a Sales Manager at Macy’s.

Q: Tell us about Interlaced Goods and the heart behind it?
A: I started Interlaced Goods as a way to give back. Being in your twenties can be a bit tough, however most people my age that I know have a genuine desire to give back. However, we often feel like our $20 spending budget isn’t good enough. I wanted Interlaced Goods to be a place to purchase affordable, handmade and thoughtfully curated products, while knowing your money is going toward a greater cause. I recently found out that hundreds of underfunded charities go out of business every single day. This reminded me of exactly why I do what I do.

Q: Give us a day in the life of Stephanie.
A: I’m a full time barista. So, most days look something like waking up at 5am and making a lot of coffee. I typically try to fit the gym in at some point. I enjoy reading a lot, so that’s part of most days as well. The day to day varies, but typically it’s work and people. I love surrounding myself with people.

Q: What three words describe you?
A: Cheerful, kind, & fun.

Q: Do you believe that your job has become your ministry?
A: Yes. I interact with people every second that I’m at work. I think that it has made be more aware of my actions and words, as well as reminding myself the importance of grace.

Q: What is the favorite thing about what you do?
A: I’ve mentioned it several times at this point, but I love what I do because it means people. I love being around people, being part of their daily, and with Interlaced Goods being able to use what I do to help others.

Q: Favorite verse?
A: 2 Corinthians 12:9 – But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Q: Favorite story in the Bible?
A: The life of Paul, in general. His life reflects the Lord’s grace and love and I think it’s incredibly important to remember that.

Q: What makes a Captivating Woman?
A: A woman who realizes that her identity is found in Jesus. And that there is nothing more important.

Q: Who are some Captivating Women in your life that we need to know about?
A: Chelsea Francis, my best friend (@ohhhchelsea)
Taylor Hinrichs, my sister (@taylor_hinrichs)

Find Stephanie in the social media world.
Instagram: @steph_hinrichs / @interlacedgoods
http://www.interlacedgoods.com

May 3, 2016

Rooted – The Hidden Places Where God Develops You. Book Review AND Giveaway.

My Pastor asked us to pray and ask God where in our lives it was unhealthy. I felt God say, “Sarah, it’s your roots.” Ouch. I felt like I was starting back at square one. Roots? Really? Isn’t that what you should work on when you’re a baby Christian?

Oh, the Lord sure did humble me.

A few weeks later I got the book “Rooted – The Hidden Places Where God Develops” by Banning Liebscher in the mail. We have had the privilege to be a part of their launch team, but I knew that God was going to use this book to really speak into me and to my lack of roots. I felt like my roots were damaged – poisoned at times.

Growth would begin and the roots would spread, but once I let a lie into my life and believed it fully, it was like I was sprinkling poison right on the spot. I haven’t always been confident in who I was in Christ. I have not always been confident in scripture. A lot of the time, I am not believing God at His Word.

Banning talks about our root system in his book.

“Your heart is your point of connection with Jesus – the place where you become rooted in your relationship with Him. He wants to develop His heart-to-heart connection with you to the point where you become fully united with Him, where you think like He thinks, want what He wants, speak like He speaks, and do what He does.” p. 4

I feel like this quote just sets up the whole book. How is your connection Him? How has my connection with Him? Am I thinking like Him? Speaking like Him?

Grace covered my thoughts and guilt when I knew that my connection wasn’t as great as I wanted it to be. Banning uses David to share how it took almost two decades for him to stand on the throne. During those years up until his reign, David spent many intimate moments with the Lord which developed his root system. I think as believers we feel that it should take us a few years in prayer and quality time with the Lord, and then we are ready to go do whatever God has planned. But as Banning explains using David, Moses, and Abraham…it took years.

Years.

Banning also writes about 3 types of soil that will with interact with to help with our rooting process: intimacy, serving, & community.

“A thriving root system is built on trust and truth, which grow strong in our lives as we come to know God through His Word and through personal encounters with Him. However, in order to build our roots in truth , God needs to plant our lives in various soils where we gain specific nutrients for growth…God’s process in David’s life placed him into three different soils that developed the different dimensions of trust and truth in his life…each of these soils teaches us how to align our lives with God’s truth and leads us to encounter God in different ways.” p. 98

He defines these soils deeper, with great stories and backs up everything with scripture. That’s what I really enjoyed about the book – the scripture he uses. As much as I love stories, and Banning uses great God stories throughout, scripture is so important with me. I want to know exactly what God has to say about building my root system.

With all that saying, I would recommend reading this book. If you feel like you’re in a dry season or you just don’t know how to start to establish your roots, this is your book. It’s easy to read, but impacted with truth. I would read a chapter, highlight, annotate, and sit with it for the night. This is a book for new believers and for those who have loved the Lord for many years. I never walked away feeling like being rooted would be difficult. I felt encouraged and challenged.

Find it here on Amazon – click here.

We are also giving away a free copy of Rooted to one of our readers! Enter the giveaway below!

*winner of giveaway was Mackenzie Lynn Beaty*

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