The Captivating Woman

Designed with purpose.

She Looks Like Her Dad

“Yep, she’s Miguel’s kid.”

My aunt instantly said that when I was born. I looked just like him. If someone asked who my parent’s were, their response to my answer would be, “Wow! You look like your dad.”

We both have squinty eyes when we smile. Light olive skin. Blue eyes and a gap in the middle of our teeth. Our personalities are the same, which sometimes can get us in trouble. Our humor is alike, but I try to deny it because his jokes are definitely “dad jokes”. He jokes with his coworkers that I look just like him but my mustache is bigger (thaaaaanks, Dad!).

As much as I love when people say “You are totally Miguel’s kid”, I want them to talk about my other Dad.

This Dad I’m talking about is our heavenly Father.

“When God created human beings, he made them to be like himself.” – Genesis 5:1b

This year I’ve learned a lot about what it means to be the image of God. For so long I confused image with looks.

“Yes, I look like Him. I’m sure we have the same nose.”

No, no, no Sarah.

God has been teaching me throughout 2015 that image means many things. I’ve learned that we are creators like Him. The way we serve can display His image. Our love is the image of Christ. Compassion, too. Humor (have you seen the Kiwa Hirsuta aka Yeti Crab? It’s the strangest/most hilarious crab I’ve seen!) When you sit down and ask God, “How do I reflect You?” He will show you.

I want people to say that I look like my heavenly Father.

Wouldn’t what be amazing to hear from someone?

“And the Lord, who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.” – 2 Corinthians 3:18b

Daily I want to look and act more like Him. Surrendering myself and asking God to fill me up.

“Lord, take away anything that doesn’t look like You. May I become more and more like You.”

Let that be our goal everyday. May we strive to look more like Him.

May we work on those talents that He has given us. Do you enjoy painting? Work on that. Master it. Your artistic talent reflects the most amazing Artist. Are you a writer? Great with kids? Good with money? Who are YOU?

Maybe you’re having an identity crisis. The best thing to do is talk with Him and ask Him, “Who am I in Your eyes?” Then dive into the Word. He will tell you who you are.

“Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator, and become like him.” – Colossians 3:10

You look like your Dad. Right here, right now. You reflect Him. I challenge you to be more like Him.

Be blessed, sisters.

Meet Jessi Snapp

11792035_830499823724211_8910286527143633377_oI first met Jessi through her Etsy shop Luminous Light Studio. I was going through a bit of a rough patch and was obsessed with Bethel’s You Make Me Brave album, especially “It Is Well”. I love the song as a whole, but the end of the song says:

“So let go my soul and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know His name.”

It struck such a chord in me and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I briefly considered tattooing it on my body, and upon further reflection, decided Etsy was probably a better option. I typed the lyrics into the search bar, and only one shop showed up – you guessed it – Luminous Light Studio. After a couple of days emailing back and forth about some personalization I was wanting, I found her website http://luminouslightstudio.com and fell in love with her work, her mission and the way she brings light into the dark. She graciously agreed to Skype with me and be interviewed for TCW.

Hannah: Hi! Thank you so much again for being willing to do this – I’m so excited! So first off, why don’t you introduce yourself? Who are you, where are you and what do you do with your life?
Jessi: Hi! My name is Jessi Snapp. I currently live in Indiana, I’m 27 and a full-time student and stay at home mom. I’m studying social work, and I finish this year. I own Luminous Light Studio and I’m a contributing writer for All That Love Can Do and as of October, I’m writing for Still Standing Magazine.

H: That’s so much! I’m so impressed that are managing school on top of everything else, and hooray for graduation being so close! Tell me about your family?
J: My husband and I have our son Ezra, who is 6 and Silas, who is in heaven.

H: That segues kind of perfectly into the next question. Tell me about your Etsy shop and how all of that got started?
J: Sure. The shop started in May. After losing Silas in August of 2014, I got involved in a community of women who had also lost babies to Tris, and it really became like a sisterhood to me. I started to paint their babies names in these watercolor memorials, and send them out to the families, hoping that I could bring even a little bit of a light to a dark situation. Eventually it got to a point where it was so expensive to keep sending them out for free that I didn’t know how I was going to keep doing it. Then we started the Etsy shop and a portion of our proceeds go to sending the paintings to the families who have lost their babies, free of charge.

H: That is so incredible. I read the story on the blog, so I knew a lot of that coming in to this, but to hear you tell it. So powerful. So on to a bit more frivolous question. If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?
J: Ah. That’s so hard to answer. If I could travel anywhere, I’d pick Heaven for a day. But within the realm of possibility, I’d have to say Australia.

H: Do you know any Captivating Women?
J: Yes! Rachel at The Heart Magazine is definitely who I think of when I think of Captivating Women. Her magazine is beautiful and celebrates women being real and honest about their own lives – the joys, the loss and the everyday things. Another is Carly Marie Dudley in Perth, AU. She does these really incredible sunset photos with babies names written in the sand. I have one for Silas, and I treasure it. Her website is full of beautiful art and you can follow her on Instagram @carlymariedudley. Also RaeAnne Frederickson – because she is amazing. She runs two support communities: one for parents who continue their pregnancies despite a fatal diagnosis and another for mothers living childless after loss. She lost her son Samuel & yet she finds it in her heart to support others. She is pure gold! And Lexi Behrndt of Scribbles & Crumbs. She writes avidly on large platforms about grief & loss. She is one of those beautiful souls who has a way with words and instills hope into the broken. She has quickly become a voice for so many. She also runs The Charlie Sawyer Project, which is a beautiful place for bereaved parents to share their children’s stories.

H: They sound like absolutely incredible women! It’s so cool to me the ways that people like these ladies are making the world brighter by utilizing their own gifts in such unique ways. Okay, so if you say anything to a 10 years younger version of you, what would you say?
J: That no matter what you face, there is always hope to be found. You can always find joy, even in the darkest of times.

H: I love that. It’s so true. What is your favorite goofy ritual or thing that you treasure doing with Ezra?
J: laughs He is such a silly little guy, that I think there could be a fairly long list there. One thing we are always doing: we love to scare each other, so we will both hide in the house and pop out and try and scare the other one.

H: That’s so precious! I love those kinds of traditions!! So the last of my silly questions, do you with all of your free time that you don’t have, have any favorite TV shows?
J: TV is a guilty pleasure of mine actually. I’m always doing other things while watching TV, but I love to watch it when I can. My husband and I love to watch Game of Thrones, it’s kind of our Sunday tradition, and we get really into it

H: I totally understand that. Leslie Knope is my spirit animal on so many levels and I’m still way too emotionally invested in Parks and Rec.
J: Oh! I love that show too.

At this point I hear a consistent knocking at the door to her office, and she calls out to Ezra that she’ll be finished in just a minute and then she will be free to play checkers with him. At the time, it made me giggle because he sounds like a really wonderful little guy, but the more I thought about it, the more that highlighted my impression of Jessi in general. Willing to take time out of a very full schedule and a very busy life to get to know the stories of others and share herself and her story in an attempt to let people know they aren’t alone in their grief and struggle. She has since published articles online with Huffington Post and Good Housekeeping, and is really wonderful each time at being very real and vulnerable without trying to sugar coat it or giving into hopelessness. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone turn grief into such a thing of raw, honest beauty. Please check out her website at http://luminouslightstudio.com.

An Undeniable Faith

Working in a skilled nursing facility is an adventure.  I have always loved seniors and thought they were “adorable”, but I never thought that I would work full time with this population.

Now, the seniors at my facility are a fun bunch.  We have seniors who very alert and oriented, and others who tell you every day that they are taking a trip to the moon after their wedding on the Queen Mary.  You also have seniors who become your favorite.  You would do anything for them to make sure they are well taken care of and are happy with their “home”.

I can give you a list of my favorites, but that would take too much time.  Instead, I am going to focus on one.  Her name is Mrs. S.

Mrs. S has become one of my favorites for many reasons.  For starters, she reminds me of my grandmother.  Books everywhere, so-called “organized” piles of random items, and a faith and love for God that is undeniable.  Mrs. S is the epitome of what it means to be a woman of God. God is moving through her and she is not afraid to let people know who she stands for. Her love languages are quality time and words of affirmation.  She makes her own greeting cards, which will never have the same design, and sends them out to friends, family, and staff with beautiful, encouraging messages.  Her spiritual gifts are wisdom and prophecy.  Her knowledge of the Word and who God is will blow you away.  Wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord and an understanding of who God is in comparison to us (Psalm 111:10).  Mrs. S knows how loving, powerful, and merciful our God is!  The wisdom she posses goes into play with her spiritual gift of prophecy.  Whenever I go to visit her, she speaks words of truth and wisdom that resonate in my mind and heart.  It is as if she knows what is going on in my life.

I was walking past her room with one my coworkers, and she called out my name.  I went into her room and she had this concerned, caring smile on her face.  “There is something I need to tell you,” she stated.  “I believe God wants you to know this.”  Now before I tell you what she said, let me give you a little back-story.  The coworker I was walking with just happened to be the coworker I agreed to go with to our facility’s Christmas party.  I went on a couple dates with him, knowing that he did not believe in God, but I was feeling incredibly insecure at this point in my life and believed that no man found me attractive.  At that moment, it was nice to be noticed and pursued by a man.  I lead him on and will always feel terrible for doing that to him (if you are reading, you know who you are and I am sorry).  Mrs. S paused for a moment and began to say these words that I will never forget:

        “You are a beautiful, strong woman of God.  All you need is Him.  God has that perfect person planned for your life, so do not rush His timing.  The man He will bring you will be a honest, loyal, and faithful man of God.  Trust in Him and continue to live out your life for the Lord.”

I was in complete and total shock.  On the verge of tears, I told Mrs. S that what she said was very touching and was an issue that I have been struggling with.  We ended up talking for another two hours and she ended the conversation with this: “I don’t know why, but I am now stuck here in this facility.  But, I believe that I was placed here for a reason.  God is using me and I am here to be a witness.  The words I say are not mine.  They are from Him.  So I am happy that I am staying here, because now I know that they are hearing the truth from our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Ladies, this is a true woman of God.  She is indeed a woman of God.  She is a woman with undeniable faith. 

Let’s Talk about Friendship

Think back to when life was simple as a child and you had no responsibilities. You had all the time in the world to sit with your friends and laugh until your stomach hurt. Now fast forward to adulthood. Life is busy. Stress is never far away. Responsibilities are growing at a rate you sometimes can’t keep up with. What happened to those friends you were once thick as thieves with? Are they still around? Are those relationships still going strong? Have those friendships managed to last over the years? Well, not every person I once called my best friend is still around in my thirties. I’ve learned that as life changes, there is the potential for friendships to change as well, whether we anticipate it or not.

I have a small number of friends who have been in my life since grade school.

Our lives have gone in different directions and thrived at different speeds. We have individually endured our own challenges and setbacks in life. We have laughed together, cried together, and supported each other though tough times.

And while we may not all speak to one another on a daily basis, we are forever connected by the love we have for one another. That sounds like hearts and flowers, doesn’t it? The truth is, some bonds will grow stronger with time, while some will lose it’s intensity for one reason or another. Yes, I still have my faithful few in my corner, but it takes work. It takes an undeniable effort to be there for one another when life becomes more complex with time. More than anything it requires an unconditional love that Christ defines for us in scripture. Sometimes we are successful in this pursuit of being a good friend, while sometimes we aren’t.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The love God requires of us doesn’t come with stipulations or clauses. It just is. But I have to admit, to love the way God commands us to is not easy. We as women are emotional beings who are opinionated and driven. We are busy. We are complicated. We are imperfect. Our flesh can be overpowering at times and let’s not start on the power of an ego.

Must we be patient, kind, encouraging, humble, and forgiving? Yes. Indeed that is what a true friendship is built on. This isn’t the kind of love the world encourages. It’s the kind of love that takes strength, patience, and understanding. Some relationships will require more of us than others, but ultimately, to be a good friend we must strive to love God’s way. The scripture reference above would have us to know that if we insert our name in the place of “love” and “it”, much work would be required.

I must admit that there is a season for everything and sometimes letting go of a friendship is very necessary for our own personal growth. How we come to that conclusion should not be influenced by heightened emotions, but rather the Spirit of God. If we find ourselves in a toxic relationship, we should take the time to seek God for guidance and also take a good look in the mirror at our own actions and motives.

The strongest relationships in my life are those built on transparency, honesty, and unconditional love. Like all things that God requires of us, being a good friend calls for us to be intentional and to love as Christ does.

While all friendships don’t work the same or require the same efforts, I’ve come to understand that friendships require sacrifice, intentional gestures of love and support, and an overwhelming amount of empathy. It requires the giving and receiving of grace and an aptitude for letting things go. It calls for us to be the friend we want others to be towards us.

Your Happiness is Important

I’ve been talking with a friend recently about how she hasn’t been happy in our little town. Though she’s attending college, her struggle to make new friends has been difficult. Her drive from home to school and back isn’t pleasant. Her routine doesn’t make her excited.

As we sat down and talked about her action of transferring to another school, I remember being in her shoes about 5 years ago. I had actually moved out of my small town to our state capital – Sacramento. Even though I was in a different place, experiencing new things, I was not happy. I actually got very depressed. I made no friends. I failed exam after exam. After class I would eat and head to my bed to sleep. There was no life in my spirit. My family and friends back home could tell.

Something her mother said reminded me of what my mom told me years ago: You are not happy here. I want you to be happy.

I think, in my case, I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. They were paying for my college and for my expenses, yet I couldn’t even do my job – go to class and get good grades. I thought, “I’ll just try to make myself happy. I’ll wait it out. I’ll finish my last 2 years of college and then find a place that makes me happy.” But it wasn’t happening. I was getting further away from being happy.

My mom said it again: I want you to be happy.

So I decided to change my scenery and move to San Jose. I even decided to change my major; I wasn’t happy with what I was studying.

I think a lot of us women just wait things out because we think that happiness is around the corner.  It might be. There are times when we have to go throw some little low parts to hit the highs. We could be going through a season where God is using an opportunity for us to press into Him. But I know that God doesn’t us to be miserable. I know that there is joy found in Him but He has created this incredible world to experience life, love, and joy.

How many of you have stayed in a relationship longer than you should have? You thought to yourself, “It’s going to get better. We love each other…” But it doesn’t get better, it gets worse.

Maybe you have stayed longer in a job because of the perks it comes with, but everyday you dread spending 8 hours in a place you do not like.

We have the ability to change. We can change the group of friends that we spend time with. We can change churches. Change our diets. Our wardrobes. The paint on our walls.

You DESERVE to be happy.

Your happiness is important.

When your happy, you’re able to function well. You’re able to connect with people easier. You feel more productive. You can even love others better.

You deserve to wake up everyday excited to see what God is doing do and what He is going to show you.

You deserve friends who lift you up with grace and love. You deserve an amazing, healthy, relationship with a man. You deserve to enjoy God’s beauty and adventure for your life.

Not everyday is going to be rainbows and sunshine even when you change things. Change doesn’t automatically promise you happiness. But what I want you to see is that creating a little change can send you in the right direction.

You don’t have to stay stuck where you are. Your feet are plastered in concrete. Sister, it might be scary going out the norm to find renewal of your spirit and mind, but you deserve to be happy.