Blog

September 15, 2015

College + Jesus

College wasn’t what I expected. It wasn’t what it was portrayed in movies. I haven’t had the college experience that teenagers and young adults dream about. I’ve had the opposite – a nightmare. College just didn’t go the way I envisioned it. I can’t tell you my whole college experience here because, well frankly it’s long and I am tired of telling it.

Let’s put it this way, when people used to ask me about college and how it was going, they were expecting the typical “Oh, it’s great! I love it!” response. But that wasn’t the case. I couldn’t even fake a smile and say “good” without tears falling down my face and revealing my true feelings on the matter.

I only had three friends – one of them was killed by a drunk driver. My professors and community challenged and made fun of my faith in Jesus. My job as a Resident Advisor involved watching students have near death experiences over and over again, as well as domestic violence, rape and even suicide.

Though my time at college hasn’t been what I’ve dreamed of, it is the story of how Jesus was revealed through all of it.

I started college as a fresh Christian and in a “hunky-dory” faith per say. I was excited about being a Christian, but my faith had never been challenged. It was never shaken. I felt solid.

Enter college and you’ll get your faith knocked around.

I started facing trial after trial after trial and felt hopeless. Yet, God reminded me to be hopeful. As cliché as that sounds, it was true. When I was at my darkest and everyone was asking “Where is your God now?”, I wondered too. Where was my God? My Father? The King of all Kings? When everything was going against everything I planned, where was He? Then I read the poem Footprints in the Sand.

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”

Instantly I had tears in my eyes. How was I so blind? I was being carried in the arms of God and didn’t even realize it. He had bigger plans – plans where I sometimes couldn’t even see the fruit. I quickly realized that His bigger plans were not having the best four years of college. The plans I made were the center of my being and I held on tight to what I wanted. My plans did not add to the Kingdom. As I started to see how each trial brought me closer to Him as well as brought others to know Him, I understood God’s plans were always better. There may be pain and hurt along the way, but there is amazing hope in the Lord to do good and build the Kingdom.

Your life may feel like a mess and that it isn’t going according to plan, but know that God is doing something bigger than you could ever imagine. He is moving in our plans, carrying us when we can’t walk on our own, and creating an incredible story that we can be a part of.

September 11, 2015

Lady (Still) in Waiting

I have been single for a very long time. It’s not that I choose to remain single; it’s just that I am comfortable with myself and will not jump into a relationship just to say I have a boyfriend. I have had many people tell me that it is good that I am so particular about whom I am interested in. Others have told me that it’s bad, and I should give more guys a chance. However, waiting for that special someone makes me extremely happy. I am happy to know that God is preparing the heart of the man that I get to be with forever. But this idea of “waiting” also makes me very impatient. I know that I am not the only woman out there who feels this way. I also know that I am not the only woman who is willing to pursue a man even when I know I shouldn’t, because it is difficult to be patient.

I still talk occasionally with a guy I once dated. Now this guy was pretty fantastic. We had so much in common and could talk for hours. On our first date of meeting each other, there were no awkward pauses or lulls. As much as I liked him, I knew that I could not be with him. He unfortunately, did not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He told me that he would support me and would respect me, both spiritually and physically. I appreciated his gesture and I so badly wanted to say, “Yes! I will continue to date you.” However, I also know that I want my future husband to be a great spiritual leader, and I want to raise my children in the Word and knowing God. Not too long ago, he went on vacation and I did him a favor. He returned the favor by setting up a “date night” for me and a man of my choosing. As grateful as I was for this offer, I also became very sad. I began to think about the men I have encountered who have great personalities and not too bad on the eyes 😉 I thought about how it is probably ten times easier to find a man if you are not a Christ-follower. I then began to think about how if you bring up this conversation with other Christ-followers, they (especially the men) become so offended. “There are great Christian guys right here! We are single! Why don’t you give us a chance?!” You almost feel guilty for not giving them a chance, but then you remind yourself that even though they have a great relationship with God, that does not mean that you are physically attracted to them.

Relationships in the Christian world often seemed so rushed, in my opinion. Young Christian adults are so eager to get married and start a family because if you are not married by the age of 23, then there must be something wrong with you. Isn’t it sad that there is so much pressure placed upon young Christian women and men in this community? There are many young Christian couples who have married young and have children, but this is in no way an insult to them. Instead this is an encouraging reminder to the singles out there who believe that Mr. Perfect will never show up. This is a reminder to the singles that are so worried and consumed with finding their perfect someone: find favor in the Lord instead of placing favoring in others. God knows your life. He knows when certain events are going to take place. Have you thought that maybe He has not brought that person in your life for a reason? Maybe you still need to work on yourself? Maybe you need to pursue a dream before settling down? Maybe your “special someone” has not come to Christ yet, and God is tugging on their heart strings.

God’s timing is perfect. When we rush His timing, we are not following His will or plan for our lives. I know that this is a hard concept to follow, because I too have a difficult time trusting in God’s timing. However, I know that when that time comes it will be truly special. God has not given up on you. He has not forgotten about you. He loves you so much, that He wants the best for you. Now if that means waiting until I’m 30 to be married, then sign me up! I would rather trust and follow God’s timing, than doing life on my own time. My challenge for you is that you also trust in His timing. A lady in waiting is a valuable characteristic to possess. There is nothing more valuable than waiting on the Lord.

September 9, 2015

Go Global

There we were, in the Houston International Airport, about to board another flight, this one heading to Managua, Nicaragua. We were a group of twelve, ready for a week of serving and scared of the unknown. The flight to Houston for three of us was the first time in a plane. The next flight to Nicaragua for most was the first time ever out of the country.

The plane took off and all eyes were glued to the window. The months of fundraising and praying were combining with feet-to-the-ground action in just a few hours. The excitement of it all mixing in giddy laughs at 39,000 feet. The seven days that followed were a complete blur of laughs and tears, tickles and spins, photographs and prayers. And there we were, in the Houston International Airport, again. Only our memories to keep us company.

Nicaragua had captured my heart long before this trip, and now had the other eleven from my group in her grasp. That’s what missions does to people. It changes you. How could it not? Anytime you remove the comfortable and replace it with Jesus, the radical happens. When we take one step towards Jesus, He pulls us deeper than we ever thought we could go.

So, when are you going to go? Yea, that’s right, you. When? Where?

Now, you probably think I’m crazy. You have a life full of commitments and obligations. You could never find the time or the money to go. It’s better to just send others fundraising money then send myself. I have a year’s worth stories that say otherwise. When we actually GO, we get to see firsthand what Jesus wanted us to see: the poor, the orphans and the widows. Sure, you have people just like that in your community, but you never truly see them, do you? We’re always in a hurry to get from work to home, from this meeting to the next, from Monday to Friday. When you go on a missions trip, the focus comes off you and your schedule and it becomes about Jesus and His schedule.

And eyes are opened.

I firmly believe that if you go on a missions trip, it will drastically change how you serve Jesus in your own community. A little perspective is all you need. So, I’ll ask again, when are you going to go?

September 3, 2015

Banana Muffins

I love banana muffins. It’s just something about them that makes my mouth water. If I go to a cafe and they are serving banana muffins, I partake. I think a big reason why I love them is that they remind me of my grandpa’s banana pancakes. No one, besides him, has mastered the pancakes. The muffins are as close as I can get to my childhood.

About a year ago, I was living with my cousins and their two children. I was blessed to be living at the beach with a view of the ocean. The weather was incredible and the sunshine was perfect. The household lived off bananas. Instead of getting 5 or 6 bananas for the week, my family would purchase double. There were many weeks when we couldn’t get to all the bananas in time before they were dark and mushy.

I made a proclamation: I am making banana muffins.

So I searched high and low for a recipe that would make moist muffins. I don’t know about you, but dry banana bread/muffins should be a crime. I found a recipe that I liked and had to change the way I made them due to the tools I was using – a spoon and bowl. I thought this was going to mess the muffins up, but they actually made the best muffins I had ever put in my mouth.

Normally, this recipe is used with a KitchenAid or mixer (which you are more than welcome to use). But after making the muffins with a KitchenAid and with a spoon, I liked the spoon version better.

This is why I like the spoon version – I don’t over mix. Sometimes I get a little crazy with the KitchenAid and whip up the mixture too much. The muffins seem drier when that happens. I like using a spoon because I fold the mixture until blended. They are light, soft, and delicious.

Trust me on this: my cousin and I ate 85% of the muffins the day they came out of the oven. She asks me to not make them when she is around. Watch out with the streusel – you’ll want to eat the whole bowl before putting it on top of the muffins.

Enjoy!

Banana Muffins

Rating: 51

Cook Time: 17 minutes

Yield: 12

Ingredients

For Muffins:

2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cups brown sugar
2 eggs, beaten
4 ripe bananas

For Streusel:

5 tablespoons butter, melted
2/3 cup flour
2/3 cup powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch of salt (optional)

Instructions

Muffins

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Mash bananas with fork. After bananas are mashed, use spoon to mix and continue to break down bananas. The bananas mixture will be runny. Transfer to another bowl and set aside.
Cream together the softened butter and brown sugar with a spoon. Mix, mix, mix! It won't be as perfect as using a mixer, but try your best. Add eggs one at a time and then incorporate the banana mixture until well blended. In another bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet. Do not over mix. Spoon batter into prepared cups.

Streusel

Melt butter.
Add butter to bigger bowl and put dry ingredients on top. Use fingers to mix butter with dry ingredients. Break down mixture to make the streusel crumbly.
Add crumb topping onto muffins and bake.

https://www.thecaptivatingwoman.com/banana-muffins/

September 1, 2015

Abandoned to Found

Read: Psalm 27:10, Deuteronomy 31:6, Romans 8:38-39

It was that time of the year, once again. Father’s Day had come. The worst day of the year. Well, to me it has been the worst day for the past 16 years. When I was eight years old, my father walked out on my family. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day my father said he was leaving. My mother embracing my brother and I as we all sat crying on my bed. My father stood in the doorway and just watched us as we were sobbing, not setting a foot inside my room. I was able to muster up the word “Why?” as the tears were rolling down my face. His response: “I just have to.” That was it. No explanation. Not a word as to why. My guardian, my protector, my so-called devoted and loving father was gone. From that day on, I was and forever abandoned.

Growing up “father-less” was mediocre. During my adolescent years, I managed to hide the pain of the father’s absence very well. I was very good at pretending everything was “okay”. Sure, it was difficult to watch as all my friends got dressed up and headed out to the Father-Daughter dance but I was strong. Nothing could break me down. I have my heavenly Father. Why would I need an earthly one?

That was the line I would always repeat to myself. “I have my heavenly Father, so I am okay, I have my heavenly Father, so I am okay” and so on and so on. However, I don’t think I truly understood what that meant until just a year ago. My 23rd year opened my eyes in so many ways. College was over so it was time for me to become a “true” adult. Friends and colleagues were getting engaged and having babies. I let my insecurities take over and allowed it to control my every move. I dated guys who had no relationship with God, because it was nice to be “noticed” by a man. A couple days before my 24th birthday, I broke down. I realized that I was slipping and I needed God more than ever. Through the tears and sadness I was experiencing, I was comforted by my true Father. God has never left my side throughout my 24 years of life. He has been there during my joy, my sadness, my hurts, and my accomplishments. God finds us, wherever we are in our lives, and will never leave our side. I have gone from abandoned to found. I went from having no father, to having a heavenly Father who I can always turn to and know that He will be there. If you share the same life experience as I do, I encourage you to place your life, your trust, and your love in the only Father you will ever need.