The Captivating Woman

Designed with purpose.

Learning Gratitude

In case you did not remember, Thanksgiving happens between Halloween and Christmas. If you based your calendar each year around the way stores are decorated, you might have forgotten about Thanksgiving. Our culture certainly throws it in like they have all forgotten. It seems like when we get into November, we begin buying Christmas presents and decorating our homes. The pesky fourth Thursday of the month rolls around and we all collectively scream, “Oh yea! I guess we need to get together, eat a lot, and watch football.”

A day meant to remind us to be thankful has been squeezed between loud parties and presents under the tree.

A day where we should be celebrating all the amazing moments of our year has become another argument in our kitchens on how long the turkey should be cooked.

I want the culture to change.
I cannot do it by myself.

In the book of Luke, chapter 17, there is story of Jesus healing ten lepers. These lepers were standing outside the city because their disease made them unclean and unfit to enter. They yelled at Jesus as He was entering to have mercy on them, probably having heard of who Jesus was and of what He was capable of. Jesus told them to go to the priests and show themselves; as they went they were made clean.

Wow. What a miracle. Ten lepers cleansed.
Of those ten, only one returned to Jesus to say thank you.

Only one.

It is somewhat comforting to hear this story and know the culture of lacking gratitude has existed for over 2,000 years. It is mostly heartbreaking.

There is so much to be grateful for, yet daily we, I, take it for granted.

Jesus is working small and big miracles in my life and I often forget to go back and say thank you. Most of my prayer time is focused on the requests and petitions I have for what’s coming next, and so little of my prayer time on being grateful for all He has already done.

It is no wonder when the fourth Thursday in November comes around each year, I do not even know where to begin. Thankfulness is a craft that needs to be honed, a craft I have not tried very hard to be better at. It starts with daily gratitude in the little things. It starts with me remembering to go back and say thank you.

Therefore, starting now at the end of 2016, I am going to begin each prayer with gratitude. I know some days I will forget. I also know when I remember to give thanks in all circumstances, each day will feel a little easier to handle. Giving thanks is not just a good idea, but something Jesus commanded as He spoke throughout scripture.

Thanksgiving: a day to give thanks. Let us make the next year one of giving thanks.

Rethinking Your Commute

I recently changed jobs, and went from living 2 minutes from the school where I worked, to being an hour away on a good day. I’ve never lived more than 10 minutes away from my place of work and school (other than the 2 years of preschool ages 2-4) until now.

I have never minded time in my car, I used to drive home for weekends usually once a month in college, and had a 4 hour drive to myself both directions. Last summer, I took a solo road trip up to Seattle from Bakersfield, and while the trip up there was slow and fun, the trip home happened earlier than I was planning, and I was in my car for 1100 miles without stopping for anything more than gas and food.

There is peace and simplicity when I am in the car.

I definitely yell at semi’s that pass each other, and get frustrated with bad drivers (I make too many references to Driving Miss Daisy), but the vast majority of the time, I enjoy being alone in my car. I sing weird harmonies, or try to sing all of the parts at once and make myself crack up. I listen to audio books on longer trips, I run through random scenarios that will probably never happen, and I have imaginary conversations with people in my life because of said scenarios that I will most likely never have in real life. I’m a little bit more external in my processing, and those hours in my car have helped me process and work through far more than I realize until after the fact.

I also have some of my best conversations with God in the car.

I tend to use distraction as my best method of avoiding dealing with hard things. I am chronically busy between finishing grad school, working two jobs, training for a half marathon, participating in several ministries and trying to find time to blog with any frequency. But when I’m in my car, I can’t send emails, work on papers, work, mentor or minister. It’s just me, with the jumble of things I’d rather not deal with, and God.
I really was expecting to hate this commute. And I admit, the hour in both directions really kills any ability to get things done in the evenings when I finally do get home. I do want to move closer, because a 15 minute commute makes scheduling my life much easier.
But even with all of that, I treasure that hour in the mornings in the car.
I spend more than half of it talking to the Lord, praying for people, conflicts, and relationships. For people I work with, minister with and those that just randomly are on my heart. For my family and my friends as they go into their lives. For myself that I would be more aware of God in the everyday hustle and grind and have peace and direction. For the people I work with in outreach and the community I work in. For the family I will one day have.
Honestly, I’m not sure anything exists that can center you so fully before you encounter traffic, work problems or the little annoying things that come (and add up) with having to get from point A to point B and deal with people. I definitely still am guilty of yelling at semi’s, and people on the road who are annoying to me. I don’t always get into work feeling nearly as zen as I was 30 minutes before. I don’t even go into each morning looking forward to the praying. Sometimes, I procrastinate on it, and get maybe 5 minutes in of hastily mumbled well wishes for my “regulars”.
I can say confidently, though, that my favorite mornings are the ones spent with the Lord, watching the sun rise on this dusty and beautiful valley. It’s definitely not the sunrise that makes the morning (as anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I’m not very often a willing participant in mornings), but rather time that could be considered wasted, is set aside and guarded as time to spend with the Lord.

How Getting Engaged Didn’t Solve my Problems & Why This isn’t the End of my Love Story

A few months ago, I got engaged.

Some of you might have seen it on Instagram. Some of you might have seen my cheesy caption on Facebook. You might have squealed in excitement, you might have sent me a text or given me a giant hug. Some of you, might have sighed, might have been slightly disappointed, thinking about another random girl on your Instagram explore page getting engaged and wondering if it would ever be you. Some of you might have seen a guy getting on his knee and began to question your own worth, your own beauty, your own value.

Today, I am here to tell you something different.

You see, it would be easy, so incredibly easy, for me to sit here and tell you why I love this phase of my life. I could babble on about how he proposed, exactly what he said when he got down on one knee, but I have chosen not to do that. I am here to tell you something different. Something so much more wildly important than my own proposal story. Something I don’t think people hear enough. Something us engaged girls aren’t telling the world.

Getting engaged didn’t change me.

Getting engaged has not made me perfect.

I know what you’re thinking, because I have thought it too. I have watched friends and sisters get engaged, plan weddings, try on wonderful dresses, and I have sat there believing that they have it all together. They have finally made it.

I wish I could tell you that I have finally made it. That after the proposal have been sweet bliss. That all of the sudden, my hidden insecurities and comparisons have dissipated. But they haven’t. I make phone calls and look at wedding venues and still long to be perfect. I still look at other girls and wonder if I could just me more like them, while the world and you, probably believe I must feel so entirely loved. I still walk in anxiety even though I am planning a wedding. I still live in fear even though I have found “the one.”

This ring hasn’t changed me. Because a man getting down on one knee hasn’t fixed me.

You, my dear friends, are not seeing the whole story. You don’t have the complete picture. A long time ago, God started writing my love story and it didn’t end or begin with Jake saying I love you. So that is what I am here to tell you. Not the dreams of my wedding, not the marriage I hope to have. I am here to tell you that God started a work in me and you a long time ago, and one proposal isn’t the whole story.

I was sixteen when I thought I found the one. I fell for the bliss of being wanted and  was intoxicated with the infatuation of being “loved.” That love I believed in as a sixteen year old girl was not the action type of love, not the sacrifice type of love, but the love that contained a lot of empty promises and shattered hearts. God started writing my love story when that boy told me he loved me, and when three years later, he told me that love no longer existed. I believed in a love that didn’t persist, and God picked me up, found me in my mess, and told me he was going to redefine my definition of love.

I spent a lot of time healing, which is the nice way of saying I spent a lot of time crying and calling my best friends on the phone. I spent a lot of time questioning if I had any worth at all, believing the undeniable lie that when a boy tells you he doesn’t love you, you are entirely unloveable. I had no idea what love was and no clue what God was doing. But you see, this is the story. This is what I want to tell you. This is not what you see when you look at my engagement post on Instagram. You don’t see the hurt. You don’t see the healing. You don’t see the story Jesus began writing a long time ago. But it’s important. Don’t miss it.

A year later, is when I met Jake. A good part of me had sworn of love and I was confident in living the single life until Jesus called me home. I never wanted to date again, because dating left me messy and broken and confused. But Jake was kind and gentle, and spoke of The Lord with boldness that inspired me. He heard of my past and told me I was worth it. Jesus was writing my love story, going fierce with a pen and paper I couldn’t yet see.

Now, I am engaged to that same boy who made me laugh while drinking black coffee, and though I am giddy with excitement, I am still here. I am still messy. I am still struggling. I still cried in the car last night because I am just so overwhelmed. Jesus is still writing, still working on my definition of love, still chasing after the heart that I tried to give away when I was 16 to a boy who didn’t want it. When you look at me, at my ring, at my wedding, I don’t want you to see a girl you believe has finally made it. I want you to see the whole story. The beautiful script Jesus started writing a long time ago. The story that broke me and healed me and made me new. The story that is still being written.

This post is for you, the single girl who believes no boy will love her.

The girl who just ended the relationship she thought would last a lifetime. The girl who sighed, or maybe even cried, when she say another proposal on Instagram. This post is for the girl waiting on her boyfriend to propose, believing that all of life’s problems will be solved when she finally has a ring. I am no more loved, no more cherished, no more adorned than you are, right here, in this moment. This ring on my finger does not make me more lovely, more worthy, more valuable. This ring symbolizes the never ending love story God is writing. And believe me. He is writing yours too.

You, yes you.

You are more loved than you will ever know.

God Still Reigns…No Matter What

Today is the day. The day Americans drive/bike/walk up to their election poll ready/not ready to vote for the next President of the United States.

To be completely honest, I’ve been looking forward to this day. I’ve wanted the ads, debates, and Facebook/Twitter hate to would go away. Every time I jump online, I only last for a few minutes before I get annoyed or angry and exit out of my app(s). I’m sure you have felt the same way.

Even discussions with my family members would send me over the edge. I was beginning to dread family dinners due to political conversation. Not only were there deep debates over candidates, but actual worry coming from a few. Each time I heard them speak, I thought:

God still reigns… no matter what.

My friend posted a photo of a small section of “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis on Facebook. It said:

“My dear wormwood,

Be sure that patient remains completely fixated on politics. Arguments, political gossip, and obsessing on the faults of people they have never met serves as an excellent distraction from advancing in personal virtue, character, and the things that patient can control. Make sure to keep the patient in a constant state of angst, frustration, and general disdain towards the rest of the human race in order to avoid any kind of charity or inner peace from further developing. Ensure the patient continues to believer that the problem is “out there” in the “broken system” rather than recognizing there is a problem with himself.
Keep up the good work,

-Uncle Screwtape.”

That was written in 1942. Crazy that it’s 2016 and we can feel and see this with our own eyes.

I think Americans believe that we are entering into some dark days, but I’ll give you a little history lesson to maybe ease the worry a bit.

There was a time in history when some of the worst individuals lived and ran countries at the same time. Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini. Those were some very dark days in that era, definitely a thousand shades darker than what we as Americans are seeing. But even in the middle of it all, God still reigned.

We can fixate on minds on candidates, but distance our thoughts on who the real King is.

I’ve gotten caught up with what the news is saying and what I’m reading in the newspaper that I haven’t even declared with my mouth that Jesus is still King. Maybe you have done the same. Let’s not be people who forget who the King is.

I love what Jennie Allen shared online.

“Here will be my singular post on the election. I am not afraid. I’ve been studying Church history and corrupt leaders come and go, there are times of prosperity and suffering, kingdoms grow and ALL fall and the Church grows more because of all of it. Of course I’m not saying I want chaos but even if the very worst happens, this is not our “city”. Augustine wrote a book called “The City of God” after the Roman Empire fell (equivalent to America falling today). He writes…… “the earthly city glories in itself, the Heavenly City glories in the Lord.” Our future city is growing and vibrant… “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10.“

Today, many people will feel a weight of heaviness once the new President of the United States has been announced, but remember that…

God reigns, no matter what.

Meet Jane Pantig

I love weddings and I love meeting new friends at weddings. One of our past Captivating Women, Natalie Mukhtar now Natalie Rowan, got married and I met Jane at the festive event. I remember somewhat meeting Jane through Natalie casually on campus, but not really knowing her (if that makes sense?) I regret not making it a point of getting to know Jane more when I lived in San Jose – but here we are, finally friends and I’m thankful for that. I’m excited that you get to be introduced to Jane and her world of apologetics on a public university – San Jose State, my alma mater.

Jane, myself, and our friend Ana-Lisa at the Rowan wedding.

Question: Where do you live & how old are you?
Answer:  I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and I am 32 years old.

Q: Tell us about what you do?
A: I am a Chapter Director with Ratio Christi, a campus apologetics alliance. Ratio Christi is Latin for, “The Reason of Christ.” We are a global movement that equips university students and faculty to give historical, philosophical, and scientific reasons for following Jesus Christ. I am currently working with students and professors at San Jose State University; in the past I was at UC Irvine. We are a Christian organization that provides an environment for Christians, atheists, agnostics, skeptics, and people of other religion/worldviews to ask questions and investigate the claims of Christianity; we also discuss religion and worldviews, and seek the truth.

I am also part of the Ratio Christi International team as a speaker and teacher on the Philippines team. We have been doing annual apologetics conference and academy since 2014. The conference equips a range of people from the layman, Bible College students, pastors, students and more.

I also help do training for our Ratio Christi College Prep program, which is our ministry to youth groups. We train people to get clubs started in youth groups, public or private schools and even homeschooling co-ops.

I am also the Social Media Coordinator. I help new Chapter Directors get started with their Facebook and Twitter accounts for their chapters.

One last thing, I raise support to do my work with Ratio Christi, if you are compelled to support this vital work that the Lord has given to me you can join my support team!

Check out this video about Ratio Christi at San Jose State University:

 

Q: Describe apologetics.
A: Apologetics comes from the Greek world apologia, which means to give a defense. Christian apologetics is the art and science of defending Christian truth claims and is linked to theology, philosophy and evangelism. I had a professor say that, “apologetics is well explained theology.” We cannot defend the faith if we don’t know what we believe and why we believe it. Apologetics is linked to philosophy because truth claims are investigated through rational analysis. As apologists we use philosophical argumentation for the Christian worldview, so that people can consider them rationally. Apologetics can be used in evangelism to rid intellectual barriers one might have to receive the gospel, apologetics can serve as pre-evangelism. Douglas Groothius says in his book, Christian Apologetics, “Christlike apologetics labors to communicate the truth in love and with wisdom (Ephesians 4:15). In truly Christian persuasion, one simply seeks to make known the Christian message so that others may hear it, believe it and live it out. The results are left to God’s sovereignty and the judgment of those who hear.”  The Christian apologist’s life verse would probably be 1 Peter 3:15, “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.”

Q: What made you get into the ministry that you’re currently serving in?
A:  Apologetics was very instrumental in my faith. I became a Christian in college and was getting a degree in Biology. Often times in academics people of faith are usually seen as unintelligent.  One of my pastors introduced me to apologetics, in particular Ravi Zacharias. Ravi showed me that the Christian faith is an intellectual and reasonable faith.

After college I wanted to share my faith with others; studying apologetics helped me to do that. Also, there were a few different things going on in my life. I suddenly lost my job at the optometrist office I was working at and shortly after that, the optometry schools I applied to rejected me. I thought to myself, “What is going on here, what am I going to do?” I surrendered it all to God and told him to do what He wanted to do in my life. In the summer of 2009, I was at the Summer Institute at Wheaton College with Ravi Zacharias International Ministry and it was there God was showing me what direction He was taking my life. I sat in the auditorium listening to speakers speak all week and one of the speaker said, “We need the next generation of Apologists, and all God wants is for you to be available.” At that moment the Holy Spirit was speaking into my heart. At the end of week, I had the opportunity to speak with Ravi Zacharias and he pretty much recommended that I go to Biola to pursue a degree in Apologetics. When I got home from the Summer Institute, I applied to the Master’s in Christian Apologetics program at BIOLA University and few weeks later I was in my first semester at BIOLA! In May 2011, I received my M.A. in Christian Apologetics with High Honors. Now, God has given me the opportunity to work with Ratio Christi.

I always thought I was going to be an optometrist; it was my dream at a young age. However, God had something else planned, rather than Him using me to help people see the physical world, he called me to help people see Christ and what he has to offer. It has been quite the adventure!

Q: What kind of struggles are you dealing with on a college campus?
A: Our group has been de-recognized by the University because we want our leaders to be Christians. It has been a challenge in growing our group and being able to do events and outreach on campus. Even with the challenges we can see God doing work through us.

Q: How do you stay focused with the mission that you’re on?
A: I just remember that I was once a lost college student. God has given me an opportunity to reach people who were like me.

Q: Give us a day in the life of Jane.
A: This is a bit difficult to describe, because my days can be very different day-to-day. I usually start my day with coffee made by my Moka and frothed coconut or almond milk and some breakfast. I try to read Scripture, pray and journal before the day gets busy. I also, try to get my workout done earlier in the day. Some days I can be on campus all day meeting with students. Some days can be administrative and organizational, other days are for research and preparation for seminars, talks, or training, traveling to places for training and speaking engagements, on other days setting up fundraising appointments and meeting with donors. My schedule can get a little crazy, but I find joy in it.

Q: What three words describe you?
A: Committed, passionate, and thinker.

Q: What is the favorite thing about what you do?
A: Traveling the world to help people come to know Christ, and helping Christians become bold witnesses for Christ.

Q: Favorite verse?
A:  Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

Q: Favorite story in the Bible?
A: I don’t really have a favorite story, but I have a favorite book and that is Philippians.

Q: Favorite apologists?
A: Ravi Zacharias, J. Warner Wallace, John Lennox, Nancy Pearcey, C.S. Lewis and JP Moreland.

Q: What makes a Captivating Woman?
A: A woman who seeks to glorify God with all her being, heart, mind, soul and strength.

Q: Who are some Captivating Women in your life that we need to know about?
A: Nancy Pearcy, Elisabeth Elliot, Rosaria Butterfield, and Lynn Wilder.

If you would like to join my support team go to: www.janepantig.ratiochristi.org/

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