Spiritual Life Archives

April 14, 2016

Proper Wound Care

My uncle was recently diagnosed with cancer late last year. My happy, hilarious, story telling uncle was going through the worst thing possible, yet he praised God and told me that it was the best thing that could ever happen to him.

He went through an outrageous surgery to take the cancer out of his body. He spent weeks laying in his hospital bed to recover. He asked for darkness and quiet so that he could spend time with the Lord. Just imagining what he had to endure makes me want to cry. His surgery caused massive scars on his body; scars which were black and ugly. But these scars told a story.

My uncles home nurse showed up to take care of his wounds one day after breakfast. She spent more than an hour with him, making sure that he got the proper treatment. She reminded him to continue to rest, to not lift anything heavy and that she would be back the next week. Though I wasn’t in the room with them, I knew she wasn’t putting a new Barbie bandaid and Neosporin on the wounds. His wound care was critical and important.

I’ve never had a major surgery. Getting a filling in my tooth is the extent of “pain” for me. I did fall off my bike when I was 10 or 11. I landed on the asphalt, hard. My body had scratches from head to toe, but they healed in proper time.

I’ve been scared from words. I’ve been scared from heartbreak. Lies. Fear.

When I’ve been hurt in the past & people want to bring it up, they’ll use the phrase “I don’t want to open up any wounds.” The thought of the past has felt like opening up a wound. I’ll get upset again. I’ll focus on it in a unhealthy way. But after thinking of my uncle and his proper wound care, those wounds will not open up again. If they have been treated professionally, the treatment and body will heal.

When I haven’t allowed God to heal me, my wounds open up. My emotions are raw. My guard goes up. The memory of the pain isn’t fun to experience, again.

Even when I have wanted Him to heal, I wanted instant healing. I want the pain to go away by the next day. But just like my uncle’s nurse, she was going to be back. It was going to take more than one treatment.

This is where proper wound care comes in. God is going back again and again to treat the wound. He is also going to ask us to not pick our wounds (I know, gross visual). It’s easy to lift the bandaid and check to see the progress, but He asks us to let it be.

It may take time. We may feel frustrated. The pain may feel like it’s never going to end. But it will.

I said that my uncle’s scars told a story. The scars we have received tell a story as well, but they are no longer scars. My Pastor shared this word in church: The scars healed by Jesus on earth, bring beauty marks to Heaven. See these scars tell a story to others. They show that God showed up and did something. They show of a Heavenly Father who cares for us with unconditional love. Our scars become beauty marks.

Let God properly treat you. It might look like allowing trusted people to come in and help with the process. It might look like spending hours in prayer. It might look like deactivating your Facebook or Instagram profile to help heal the pain, whatever the situation.

Let us trust in the Lord that He will come in and treat our wounds properly. Let us trust in the Lord that He wants us to be happy again. Let us trust in the Lord that we will walk away with joy, knowing that our Healer has touched our body.

“‘Lord, help!’ they cried in their troubles, and he saved them in their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, snatching them from the door of death. Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonder things he has done for them.” – Psalm 107: 19-21 NLT

“O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you restored my health.” -Psalm 30:2 NLT

“Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.” -Psalm 103:2-4

March 15, 2016

Promises

Promise is a beautiful word that holds huge expectations.

I often think that people do not understand the importance of saying the words “I promise”. How many of you have had someone say “I promise” to you in hopes that what they are promising will come true?

I know that this has happened to me on some occasions. The few major promises that were spoken to me did not quite come true. Whether it was my previous employer saying that they will “promise” to give me a raise, my dad saying that he will “promise” to remain in my life, or my friend who will “promise” to keep in touch and maintain some sort of a relationship with me. I cannot say that I ever saw these promises be fulfilled.

But then I have to take a step back and look at my life. Was there ever a time that I made a promise to someone that I could not keep? Of course. There was a time when I promised to meet and hang with my friends and instead I went to dinner with my ex-boyfriend and his friends. There have also been times when I promised my own family that I would do a particular thing, and I unfortunately did not follow through. We all get caught in the easy way of saying “I promise” without taking a step back and looking at the repercussions.

This past week I have been thinking about a broken promise that was made to me a while back. I played the words over and over in my head. One way for me to cope with this broken promise was to do some research on this strong word.

The definition of the word promise is:

a declaration or assurance that one will do or will not do a particular thing.

A few synonyms I found are vow, pledge, and oath. What a powerful definition for word that is so loosely used.

It is easy to get caught up in reflecting on the empty promises in our lives. It is easy to become bitter and to sit and wallow about the things that did not come true. However, sitting and thinking about all the hurt, will not bring us happiness. A broken promise, whether it be small or large, will never be excusable. It will of course cause heartache and pain. So how do we move on from the brokenness in our lives?

Although we are constantly burdened and hurt by the broken promises people stowed upon us, there is one promise that will always remain. The promise of God’s never ending love will never be broken. There have been times when I felt alone. I felt angry and wondered why God didn’t show up in certain situations. Why did this pain have to occur? Yet God showed love to me in different ways. God reminded me that His promise of never-ending love, and always being there for me will never go away. As Jesus was walking with His cross on the way to His own crucifixion, He easily could have dropped that cross, walked away, and went to Heaven to be with God. He could have avoided the pain and suffering…but He didn’t.

He chose to die on the cross for us. To be beaten and afflicted for us. To be ridiculed and mocked for us. Just to show us how much He loves us. To show us, how much he cares for us. To show us that He will never leave us nor forsake us in our time of need. To show us that He is the one true God. He knew what was going to happen. He knew the pain that He was going to experience. The ridicule He was going to face.

Yet through it all, He kept His promise. His promise to be the ultimate sacrifice. To die for our sins just to show us how much He loves us.

People and their actions can be a disappointment. We hate to admit it, but that’s the truth.
The power and love of Jesus Christ, will never disappoint. It will never be broken. He is the promise that will never be broken.

March 3, 2016

And Now We Wait

One thing that has fascinated me since entering the workforce is how people respond when I tell them what I do.

“Oh you’re a special education teacher? You must be SO patient!”

I always smile and kindly accept the praise. Undoubtedly, I have a job that requires patience, but to suggest that God granted me super-human capacities in this regard is laughable. I’m the girl who gets squirrelly during lengthy pre-meal prayers, I’m always antsy in waiting rooms and traffic jams, and I frequently Google how long a movie is then continually check my phone to see how much longer I have to sit still. (I admit that last one is weird).

Yet, here I am, along with plenty of others, feeling stuck in an in-between stage of life. I have had countless conversations with other twenty-somethings who are anxious to get to that next step, whether that’s in their jobs, their relationships, their finances, etc.

I’ve realized recently that, surprisingly, even those who are much older and wiser than me are often still left seeking, wondering what is coming up ahead. Don’t we all want to get a glimpse of our futures? It’s human nature. Our hearts, when left to their own devices, find it easy to wander from our ultimate purpose. Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest have allowed our minds to meander through all that we DON’T have. And our brains transform that into something we MUST have. Infomercials assure us that we can have it all for the low, low price of $19.99 plus shipping and handling. No matter how much we do, there’s still a lurking feeling that we could achieve it all if only we strive a little bit more. That is the American dream after all. Now I’m a huge advocate of hard work, and I truly believe that if you want something badly enough, you can more than likely get it. But God’s been speaking to me loudly in this in-between phase through the verse in Psalm 46:10 that says,

“Be STILL and know that I am God.”

He doesn’t instruct us to strive more. Let’s all take a collective sigh of relief. This knowledge is powerful! No matter how much we do, we’ll always feel empty if we aren’t consistently seeking the eternal. I’ve written about contentment in the past because as I look back over my life, I’m well aware that it’s an area that I’ve struggled with. It’s hard for me to be patient as I wait for the Lord to reveal to me what’s to come in my life. Maybe instead of asking, “Where do I see myself in 5 years?” I should ask “How will God use me in the next 5 years?” I won’t worry about who I’ll marry, where I’ll live, how many kids I’ll have. As the days, months, and years continue to tick by, it’s easy to grow restless in trusting His timing. But wait! Wasn’t God faithful in revealing to me where I should go to college? And what my major should be? Didn’t he direct me towards Godly friendships and a supportive community once I was graduated and in the real world? How quickly I can forget and cling tightly to my own plans.

We’re reminded yet again in Matthew 6:25:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life.”

And while I’m the first to admit that this doesn’t come easy, I hope you will join me in choosing to daily surrender your own agenda. His plan can (and most certainly will) trump your wildest dreams.

February 16, 2016

Prayer

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I don’t know about you, but the words “pray without ceasing” are almost enough for me to just throw in the towel. There is absolutely no way I could ever pray forever, let alone rejoice forever and give thanks always. These verses sound so much more like ideas then actual commands.

Funny thing is, the more I pray, the more I realize how desperate I am, and in turn the more I want to pray.

Prayer for me comes in many forms. Quick prayers over meals, long prayers with lots of tears by myself in my room, written prayers in a journal I keep with me at all times, desperation prayers for a friends battling cancer for the third time in her short life. There are really countless prayers I could list.

I feel like prayer is so important that it needs its own ceremony. I need to go somewhere special, break open my journal, and pray specific things in a specific order. God can definitely meet me there, but God can just as easily meet me at my desk as I type this blog. He can just as easily speak to me in a moment of silence at a stoplight. The reason why I don’t tend to find God at my desk, or in my car, is because I’m not looking for him there.

The real point of prayer is communication with God. The real reason I don’t have prayer without ceasing is that I don’t try. I don’t give God breathing room. I don’t let him into my every moment. But, that’s exactly where He wants to be.

The more I think about it, I really want to be a person who prays without ceasing.

There is a great story I will leave you with: my friend DJ has been going to our church since 1957. She is who I want to be when I’m old. She has power in her words, love in every hug, and joy in her worship. My pastor’s wife told a story recently about DJ. They shared a room for one night at a women’s retreat a few years ago. DJ warned that she talks in her sleep. The reality is that she goes to bed praying, prays in her sleep, and wakes up praying. Just amazing.
I’m in this journey with you all. Attempting to be a person who is joyful, prayerful and thankful. At the start, I have to have a routine time set aside for prayer. My hope, is that it will become the thread weaving through every part of me, just like DJ.

Will you join me? Lent is a perfect time to get centered with God. That’s what I’m doing. Getting centered, spending my first hour after I get off work with Him. When will you set aside time? What are you doing? Let me know so I can pray with you as you pray for me.

January 14, 2016

Redefining Broken

Have you ever heard of Nellie Willhite? I had never heard of her until last week on a trip to a Flight Museum. We were walking through the exhibit of the first airplanes of the 20^th century. The tour guide led us to Nellie’s large, blue plane that had the name Pard painted on its side. Pard was her father’s nickname.

Nellie Willhite was the first deaf woman to be a pilot. She lost her hearing after a childhood illness. It was a hard time in her life and she had to adapt to it. When she was a young woman, a pilot friend of hers joked that she should become a pilot. But that joke transformed into a dream in Nellie’s heart. A few years later at the age of 35, Nellie’s father provided for her aviation lessons and bought her the plane, the wings she needed to fly and oh! How she soared!

What I find so beautiful is that her father believed in her. He believed in the dreams in her heart and knew that she was capable even in her deafness. He believed in her even when she would not. I am sure that doubt and lies ran through Nellie’s mind every time she had a dream or a goal. I am sure that there were moments in her life where she made mistakes, listened to lies, and didn’t believe in who she was. BUT my favorite part of the story is that even though she had some hiccups along the way, she ultimately put her trust in her father to help her and she accepted the gifts that he gave her. Once she did, she discovered that her “disablement” was really an enablement. She took the lies captive and replaced them with truth.

You see, my dear friend, what the world calls broken, He calls a masterpiece. What the world calls a failure, He calls chosen. What the world calls a disablement, He calls an enablement. To put it a different way, imagine if you were to grasp a glass vase and throw it on the ground right now. There would be little pieces and big shards of glass everywhere, right? It would be a mess. The world would look at it and declare it impossible to put back together. “It’s not worth anyone’s time”.

But God would look at it with excitement in His eyes and declare, “I know the plans I have for you. Plans for good and not for evil. Plans for a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11). He redefines the world’s definition of broken. He says there is purpose. Our Father gathers the pieces of our lives with His loving hands and creates something new out of the old.

You see, our God is THE Creator. He makes all things new. There are times in our lives where we wish to go back to the way things were, to the shape we used to be when we were content. But God has SO MUCH MORE for YOU! His love for you is incomprehensible! He longs to create a masterpiece out of the brokenness you see! How mind-blowing is that?!

Girl, I have experienced moments where I have given into a temptation or I have believed in a lie about myself. Afterwards, it can be so so so easy to listen to the lies that say “There is no way that vision will be a reality someday?” “You think God still loves you after what you just did?” “How could you ever get to that college?!” “You keep messing up and you will never get to that good place again.” THESE ARE LIES. THESE ARE NOT FROM GOD.

Girl, I know firsthand how broken you can feel when it seems like you keep messing up and making the same mistakes over and over again. You feel empty, lost, weak, and hopeless. You start beating yourself up about it. BUT I have beautiful truth for you today. His love and grace is not a onetime gift. It is an every time gift. His power is made perfect in weakness. Yes, you are human. Yes, you make mistakes sometimes. Yes, you get some scars. Yes, you go through trials. But God promises that He will take your tribulation and turn it into a testimony. He will take your broken moments and turn them into wings! His plan for you is to soar with the beautiful dreams that He has placed in your beautiful heart.

“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
– 2 Corinthians 12:9

I think being broken is beautiful. Do you want to know why? If my heart desires to shine Jesus’ light, I do not want to be a glass vase with light trapped inside. You might be able to see the light in me, but think how much brighter the light would shine if the vase was shattered and the light reflected off all the pieces, both big and small! The light would shine on every inch of the room! The pieces would reflect off each other. So do not be discouraged with a mistake you have made or a “disablement” you possess. God has a marvelous plan for that piece and He has promised you that He “works all things together for the good of those who love Him.” (Romans 8:28). Remember, the Lord is always faithful and He will never give you an empty promise.

So, daughter of the Most High, let’s fly with that promise and see what He does with our broken pieces!

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