Spiritual Life Archives

October 20, 2015

Stop. Singing. Oceans.

No, don’t stop singing Oceans. But before you do, read this.

We’ve all heard the song “Oceans” by Hillsong. If you haven’t: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING? It is one of those go-to worship songs in churches. You know, the kind that gets really loud because everyone actually knows the words. The kind where you can actually keep your eyes closed the whole song without having to look at the projected lyrics. Where hands suddenly fill the air in praise. It’s easily a church favorite. Don’t get me wrong, it is a beautiful song with a beautiful message, but about a year ago I stopped singing the chorus.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

You are probably thinking – “Haley! You are crazy! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that chorus.” You would be right. There isn’t. So why did I stop singing something that so many people find solace in?

I was scared.

Terrified really.

Scared of the lyrics to a song.

The lyrics are not just words but prayers and words of worship to my Creator – to my King. The words that we sing have meaning. They matter. Since the words hold meaning, we should understand what we are singing.

Beginning chorus:

1. “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.”

Summed up, you are asking to be led by the Spirit wherever the Spirit wants you to go. This has become a common prayer in church. “Lead me, Lord.” We pray to be led by the Spirit in different areas like talking to someone about our faith or to even having the Spirit lead us when we are making a big decision, such as choosing a college or career path. Don’t get me wrong, that is great! We need to be led by the Spirit.

To go where your trust is without borders means you have to be taken somewhere or put in a situation where you are not comfortable.

“Yeah Haley, I could do that. I could get uncomfortable for the Kingdom.”

You say that now, but can you say that when you are on your hands and knees crying because your best friend was just killed? Yet through it someone came to Christ because they saw your persistence of faith. Imagine your heart broken after a man has left you – a moment we as women never want to experience. Yet, through that we are able to run to Jesus and dive deeper in our relationship with Him. The song does not always equate to an uncomfortable experience such as being in a room of people you don’t know. It could look like depression, the loss of a loved one, losing your job and having to give up your lifestyle, being broken up with by the love of your life. The list goes on and on. Essentially this is what you are singing: to be taken to a place that will force your trust to grow. Trust grows when you go through hard things. Just like any other relationship this happens with God too.

2 & 3. “Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me.”

We all know that walking on water is not humanly possible. Matthew 14:25-31 talks about the act of trust.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,”he said, “why did you doubt?”

To “walk on water” means being able to trust in Jesus in a impossible situation. When Jesus says “come”, you can go to Him and that He will pull you up if you start to sink.

4. “Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.”

Going with the whole literal oceans theme here, imagine you are walking in the shallow part of the ocean. You can see the little fish swimming around your feet yet you’re comfortable. As you start walking farther out you can’t see as much and are starting to go under the waves. Now imagine that you go even farther, farther than you would normally go. Far enough out to not be able to see any land. Are you scared yet?

Sometimes God takes us farther out than we ever intended to go. Why the heck would you pray to go deeper and farther out when you could just stay where it is safe and comfortable?

I thought that I would never sing Oceans again until I zeroed in on the last two lines of the chorus:

5 & 6 “And my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior.”

If we put our total trust in Jesus, our faith will be made stronger. By going through these inevitable life situations, you will find that God is the only hope you have. You will see that there is beauty in hitting the bottom and reaching out for Jesus to save you. That is where trust will grow. Without getting uncomfortable, it’s difficult to achieve. These last two lines are a reminder that when those situations happen you know that your faith is being made stronger and that you are in the presence of God.

So where does that leave us? Well for me, after feeling dragged through lines 1 through 4 in my own life, I was tired, hurt and lines 5 & 6 just didn’t feel like the end result had been worth it all. After time had passed, I have seen over and over again the beauty of what God did when I was living lines 1 through 4. I have seen how others have come to Christ through my pain. I have seen my faith grow tenfold because of it.

So, should you stop singing Oceans? Absolutely not. Whether you sing this song or not, those trials will come. Bad situations in life are inevitable. Do you hear me? Inevitable. The difference is, when you are going through 1-4 will you remember there is a 5 & 6 in that chorus? And that 5 & 6 is everything.

October 13, 2015

Spirit of Worry

We are excited to share our first guest blogger on the site – Krystle Barrington. We want our site to be a platform for writers to use their gift. If you are a writer and would like to develop your gift, please click here for more information.

We all have things we struggle with, and for me, worrying is at the top of the list. I’m not sure exactly when I developed this habit but adulthood has been overwhelmed by anxiety, insomnia, and worry. Countless nights of tossing and turning have been an ongoing struggle for years. I’ve seen doctors and have taken medication, but the process of learning to give all my cares and worries to God, has been the hardest yet most effective cure for my problem.

I’m definitely not a doctor, but merely a woman who is learning to surrender all things to God, and in that I’ve found extreme peace. I’m still going through the process but with each day it becomes a little easier. The more time I spend with God, the more I understand that it isn’t my job to worry about the outcome of anything taking place in my life. I am learning to embrace that all things work together for God’s glory (Romans 8:28).

My God is an awesome God and the word reassures me that through Christ, there is always victory on the other side of uncertainty.

This idea that we should cast our problems on God is no easy task for the average Christian. For someone who naturally worries about things, it becomes an even bigger challenge. If you’ve struggled with anxiety, then you understand the heightened difficulty in putting complete trust in God. It is a learned practice that requires faith, discipline, and prayer.

One of the many lessons I’ve learned while trying to tackle the spirit of worry is that the more you pray, the less you worry, because worrying and praying cannot coexist. And once we are done praying, it doesn’t make sense to have prayed about something only to then worry some more. Rather, praying and exercising our faith is a means to trusting that no matter what we are facing, we are not alone.

So what does this mean for those who struggle with worrying? It means that we can surely replace worry with peace and hope. It means that we can overcome those stressors that cause us to be anxious. It means that things can and will get better.

I think there is a natural tendency to only pray for those major things happening in our lives, but we indeed can pray about anything, no matter how small or big. We have to get to a point where we don’t make a fuss about trivial things. Even when we don’t understand where our lives are going, God does, and that should be enough. We have to get to a point where we learn to depend on the Holy Spirit, especially in those moments when our palms get sweaty, our hearts begin to race, and we feel the most defeated.

God is so much bigger than any problem we will ever face. He is our strength and refuge, always an ever-present help (Psalm 46:1). No matter what you are facing, give it to God. Start believing today that whatever you are facing has an intended purpose. Don’t allow life’s struggles to keep you from being present in this beautiful thing called life. When you begin to feel anxious, I encourage you to pray for peace at that very moment.

Worry and fear steals our joy. It literally can keep us from being present wherever we are in life because we are so focused on the worst-case scenario. Worrying will make us complicate a situation that is far less complicated. We were not created to live walking on eggshells. You were created to live a joyful life, one where we give our problems to Jesus. We can find peace in knowing that God is always with us, and just a prayer away.

Remember, He said that He would never leave us nor forsake us. I am learning daily that things out of my control are really in God’s hands. I am learning that day-to-day frustrations are not merely tests but an opportunity for God to reveal himself in new ways. God is with you and He will never leave you. Know that there is hope and peace when we seek Him in all things.

September 17, 2015

What Makes a Captivating Woman?

Go to any grocery or book store and you’ll find magazines with titles that say:

“10 Ways to Meet your Future Husband!”

“5 Mascaras You Need in Your Life!”

“4 Steps to Your Beautiful Self!”

Honestly, I like standing in longer lines at the grocery store. It’s my time to read through magazines because I’m a little bit cheap and I don’t want to spend $8. I’ll scan through the articles to find how I can be my beautiful self, to then realize I’ll need to cut out sugar and purchase a lip plumper that would cost me an arm and a leg.

Instantly I feel dread and disappointment. I’ll think to myself, “I’ll never fully know what being my beautiful self is because I didn’t accomplish the 4 steps.”

We live in a culture that creates lists. We believe that if we follow a formula we can be a new person, or gain a job, or be the best mom on the face of universe. But those lists are almost never met.

So what makes a Captivating Woman?

There’s not a list, a 5 week program, or a book you can read to make yourself captivating. There is nothing you can do to become a captivating woman. Breath in that freedom, sister.

The title is misleading for a reason.

See, I used to live by formulas. I needed a check list because I thought if I accomplished all things, THEN whatever I was aiming for would happen. Sometimes it worked, but most of the time I ended up in failure.

I ended up in tears. I ended up binging on food. I ended up shaming my body and the way I put on my makeup. I lied to myself and said I would never be pursued by a man because I wasn’t in spin class 6 days a week.

There’s a very popular chapter in Proverbs. Before I say it, I’m sure you already know what I’m referring to. Proverbs 31. Please understand: I am not dishonoring God’s word. I am not saying that Proverbs 31 should be erased from the Bible. I’m not saying we should not study Proverbs 31.

But I believe as a community of women we have made the Proverbs 31 woman the ultimate goal in our life. But the thing is, we are not going to hit every quality in that chapter. I’ve heard ladies say that we should learn how to sew because Proverbs 31:19 says, “Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.”

I am terrible at sewing. I sewed a dress for my doll when I was 11 and it was alright. It wasn’t something I would put on my body.

But I know some gals who are incredible seamstresses. I am so drawn to their skill and craft. I would do anything to be talented in that category.

If I made a list of every quality of the Proverbs 31 woman, I would feel overwhelmed. I think a lot of us feel overwhelmed when we are looking at lists of what to do to become something. And even as we try our hardest, someone is always doing it bigger and better. We feel so inadequate.

I can’t imagine being a mom one day. There are those moms who make motherhood look easy. Next to them are the ones with macaroni in their hair staring at the “Mom of the Year”.

If you read all of chapter 31, you see her as this energizing bunny. She keeps going and doing and serving and loving. And all of that is beautiful. But for me, there are days when I’m done. I’m empty. I don’t have as much grace as I should. I lack joy at times. I take a few naps during the week.

But yet God still rules in my heart. His nature is still flowing through my bloodstream. I am able to reflect who He is in the quiet moments when I’m not even trying to.

I’m going to repeat this again: there is nothing you can do to become a Captivating Woman.

We are captivating because of a King. As followers of Christ, daughters of the King, we instantly reflect who He is.

Galatians 2:20 says, “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

I’m not captivating by how I dress, the makeup I use, or by the way I walk. I’m captivating because I’m allowing Christ to live through me. I’m allowing His characteristics to shine through my pores (and they are probably really oily). People are not drawn towards me because I’m Sarah Sandoval, they are drawn to me because I resonate Christ.

I’m thankful that we don’t have to complete a 25 step program to become captivating. By us being the woman God intended us to be, we shine, we draw people in, we captivate others because He lives in us.

If you’re quiet, you’re captivating. If you’re loud and wear purple lipstick, you’re captivating. If your hair is flat and have pimples covering your face, you’re captivating.

You are captivating.

September 15, 2015

College + Jesus

College wasn’t what I expected. It wasn’t what it was portrayed in movies. I haven’t had the college experience that teenagers and young adults dream about. I’ve had the opposite – a nightmare. College just didn’t go the way I envisioned it. I can’t tell you my whole college experience here because, well frankly it’s long and I am tired of telling it.

Let’s put it this way, when people used to ask me about college and how it was going, they were expecting the typical “Oh, it’s great! I love it!” response. But that wasn’t the case. I couldn’t even fake a smile and say “good” without tears falling down my face and revealing my true feelings on the matter.

I only had three friends – one of them was killed by a drunk driver. My professors and community challenged and made fun of my faith in Jesus. My job as a Resident Advisor involved watching students have near death experiences over and over again, as well as domestic violence, rape and even suicide.

Though my time at college hasn’t been what I’ve dreamed of, it is the story of how Jesus was revealed through all of it.

I started college as a fresh Christian and in a “hunky-dory” faith per say. I was excited about being a Christian, but my faith had never been challenged. It was never shaken. I felt solid.

Enter college and you’ll get your faith knocked around.

I started facing trial after trial after trial and felt hopeless. Yet, God reminded me to be hopeful. As cliché as that sounds, it was true. When I was at my darkest and everyone was asking “Where is your God now?”, I wondered too. Where was my God? My Father? The King of all Kings? When everything was going against everything I planned, where was He? Then I read the poem Footprints in the Sand.

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”

Instantly I had tears in my eyes. How was I so blind? I was being carried in the arms of God and didn’t even realize it. He had bigger plans – plans where I sometimes couldn’t even see the fruit. I quickly realized that His bigger plans were not having the best four years of college. The plans I made were the center of my being and I held on tight to what I wanted. My plans did not add to the Kingdom. As I started to see how each trial brought me closer to Him as well as brought others to know Him, I understood God’s plans were always better. There may be pain and hurt along the way, but there is amazing hope in the Lord to do good and build the Kingdom.

Your life may feel like a mess and that it isn’t going according to plan, but know that God is doing something bigger than you could ever imagine. He is moving in our plans, carrying us when we can’t walk on our own, and creating an incredible story that we can be a part of.

September 1, 2015

Abandoned to Found

Read: Psalm 27:10, Deuteronomy 31:6, Romans 8:38-39

It was that time of the year, once again. Father’s Day had come. The worst day of the year. Well, to me it has been the worst day for the past 16 years. When I was eight years old, my father walked out on my family. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day my father said he was leaving. My mother embracing my brother and I as we all sat crying on my bed. My father stood in the doorway and just watched us as we were sobbing, not setting a foot inside my room. I was able to muster up the word “Why?” as the tears were rolling down my face. His response: “I just have to.” That was it. No explanation. Not a word as to why. My guardian, my protector, my so-called devoted and loving father was gone. From that day on, I was and forever abandoned.

Growing up “father-less” was mediocre. During my adolescent years, I managed to hide the pain of the father’s absence very well. I was very good at pretending everything was “okay”. Sure, it was difficult to watch as all my friends got dressed up and headed out to the Father-Daughter dance but I was strong. Nothing could break me down. I have my heavenly Father. Why would I need an earthly one?

That was the line I would always repeat to myself. “I have my heavenly Father, so I am okay, I have my heavenly Father, so I am okay” and so on and so on. However, I don’t think I truly understood what that meant until just a year ago. My 23rd year opened my eyes in so many ways. College was over so it was time for me to become a “true” adult. Friends and colleagues were getting engaged and having babies. I let my insecurities take over and allowed it to control my every move. I dated guys who had no relationship with God, because it was nice to be “noticed” by a man. A couple days before my 24th birthday, I broke down. I realized that I was slipping and I needed God more than ever. Through the tears and sadness I was experiencing, I was comforted by my true Father. God has never left my side throughout my 24 years of life. He has been there during my joy, my sadness, my hurts, and my accomplishments. God finds us, wherever we are in our lives, and will never leave our side. I have gone from abandoned to found. I went from having no father, to having a heavenly Father who I can always turn to and know that He will be there. If you share the same life experience as I do, I encourage you to place your life, your trust, and your love in the only Father you will ever need.

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