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September 20, 2016

When I Stopped Growing Spiritually for My Future Husband

For as long as I can remember, I was told to pray for my future husband. “Sarah, pray for him. Pray for his purity. Pray his health. Pray.”

Recently, I’ve found some old journals with prayers for my future husband. I’m sure some of you have journals like that. “My love…where are you? What are you doing currently? Remember that I’m waiting for you.” I feel silly thinking about my little love letters. I’m a romantic at heart and words are my love language, but these letters were a little interesting and somewhat embarrassing. As much as I want to burn them, I just can’t. They are humorous, but sweet.

My prayers soon developed into making sure that I was becoming a woman worth marrying. It was my focus. I thought, “If I serve in church, my future husband would be impressed and more attracted to me.” Or, “If he saw my prayer journal, he would know that I was a Proverbs 31 woman.” I wanted to be everything for a man, even at a young age, that I started using God to make myself look better.

I was serving God to impress a man.

I was using God like men use puppies to gather a group of girls together.

I was growing spiritually for a man and not for the benefit of  enhancing my own relationship with Him.

My Facebook posts were little plugs to get men. Who needs Christian Mingle when you can post a Jesus centered status?! Yeah, that’s what I thought. 

No wonder I never felt content in my relationship with God – it was all for show. I could feel Him press into my heart and say, “You don’t know Me intimately. You aren’t wanting to know Me. You are using Me to grow for a man, for a future husband, for a future life. But what about now?”

I hope I’m not the only one who does this. I’ve heard from a choir of girls that say they are preparing themselves for marriage. Now before you click out of this, stay with me on this thought.

When we spend time with Jesus and grow with Him, it should be because we love Him and want to be near Him. In doing so, our relationships, our friendships, our work atmospheres will change. It’s just what happens when we want to be with Jesus. The Lord has been slamming me with this thought:

If you want to live like your Father, get to know your Father.

The by-product of spending time with Jesus is a life of hope, peace, and joy. In Him, I find true contentment, my identity, my life.

I know that God doesn’t want me to using Him like a puppy. God wants me to serve Him, love Him, & grow with Him because it’s important for me. I can already tell that if my intention to grow spiritually is solely for a marriage, I will miss out on many things that the Lord wants to do and show – I will highly be disappointed.

Keep praying for your future husband and even your current husband, but remember that your relationship with Jesus is for your benefit foremost. Your relationships will look and feel better when you’ve made your relationship with Jesus your priority.

By: Sarah Sandoval · Filed Under: Life · Tagged: dating, Jesus, marriage, relationships

September 11, 2015

Lady (Still) in Waiting

I have been single for a very long time.  It’s not that I choose to remain single; it’s just that I am comfortable with myself and will not jump into a relationship just to say I have a boyfriend.  I have had many people tell me that it is good that I am so particular about whom I am interested in.  Others have told me that it’s bad, and I should give more guys a chance.  However, waiting for that special someone makes me extremely happy.  I am happy to know that God is preparing the heart of the man that I get to be with forever.  But this idea of “waiting” also makes me very impatient.  I know that I am not the only woman out there who feels this way.  I also know that I am not the only woman who is willing to pursue a man even when I know I shouldn’t, because it is difficult to be patient.

I still talk occasionally with a guy I once dated.  Now this guy was pretty fantastic.  We had so much in common and could talk for hours.  On our first date of meeting each other, there were no awkward pauses or lulls.  As much as I liked him, I knew that I could not be with him.  He unfortunately, did not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  He told me that he would support me and would respect me, both spiritually and physically.  I appreciated his gesture and I so badly wanted to say, “Yes! I will continue to date you.”  However, I also know that I want my future husband to be a great spiritual leader, and I want to raise my children in the Word and knowing God.  Not too long ago, he went on vacation and I did him a favor.  He returned the favor by setting up a “date night” for me and a man of my choosing.  As grateful as I was for this offer, I also became very sad.  I began to think about the men I have encountered who have great personalities and not too bad on the eyes 😉  I thought about how it is probably ten times easier to find a man if you are not a Christ-follower.  I then began to think about how if you bring up this conversation with other Christ-followers, they (especially the men) become so offended.  “There are great Christian guys right here! We are single! Why don’t you give us a chance?!”  You almost feel guilty for not giving them a chance, but then you remind yourself that even though they have a great relationship with God, that does not mean that you are physically attracted to them.  

Relationships in the Christian world often seemed so rushed, in my opinion.  Young Christian adults are so eager to get married and start a family because if you are not married by the age of 23, then there must be something wrong with you.  Isn’t it sad that there is so much pressure placed upon young Christian women and men in this community?  There are many young Christian couples who have married young and have children, but this is in no way an insult to them.  Instead this is an encouraging reminder to the singles out there who believe that Mr. Perfect will never show up.  This is a reminder to the singles that are so worried and consumed with finding their perfect someone: find favor in the Lord instead of placing favoring in others. God knows your life.  He knows when certain events are going to take place.  Have you thought that maybe He has not brought that person in your life for a reason? Maybe you still need to work on yourself? Maybe you need to pursue a dream before settling down? Maybe your “special someone” has not come to Christ yet, and God is tugging on their heart strings.

God’s timing is perfect.  When we rush His timing, we are not following His will or plan for our lives.  I know that this is a hard concept to follow, because I too have a difficult time trusting in God’s timing.  However, I know that when that time comes it will be truly special.  God has not given up on you.  He has not forgotten about you.  He loves you so much, that He wants the best for you.  Now if that means waiting until I’m 30 to be married, then sign me up! I would rather trust and follow God’s timing, than doing life on my own time.  My challenge for you is that you also trust in His timing.  A lady in waiting is a valuable characteristic to possess.  There is nothing more valuable than waiting on the Lord.  

By: Ashley Mauro · Filed Under: Life · Tagged: dating

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