Moving out is possibly the biggest turning point in the life of a young adult. You have spent your whole life relying on someone else to do your grocery shopping, to pay your bills, and now you are in the real world. If you are at all like me, you moved out as soon as humanly possible.
I commuted to school from my dad’s house the first eighteen months of my college career. I was ready to move closer to school and cut my nearly hour long commute to and from school down, gain a little independence, and finally have some time to myself – living in a three bedroom house with six other people offers little alone time.
I had a budget.
I had a plan.
I was ready.
I was not ready.
I did not have a first clue about what constituted a ripe avocado, I did not realize how little time it took for bread to get moldy, and I did not know how to manage all my independence. After two months, I was more exhausted then when I was spending at least two hours a day in my car driving.
That is when I discovered meal prepping and having a planner.
I know it is not rocket science. I was not reinventing anything. I was discovering for the first time how important these two well-tested concepts were. I was also discovering how hard it is to go from prepping food for seven people to prepping food for one person, and how hard it is to go from only having to plan your studying to having to plan your whole life.
If, like me, you struggle with knowing how to live life as a party of one, not because of pressure to find a soul mate but because of pressure to be a human, keep reading.
I have found three easy steps that helped me make huge strides toward party of one living: forward thinking, boundaries, and structure.
- Forward Thinking – having a plan when you go into the grocery store. Make a weekly meal plan, create lists of what needs to be purchased, and go to the store with all of it in mind (and in hand). I have found that the hardest part is not sticking to the plan at the store, but sticking to the plan throughout the week. If you know on Wednesday night you will not want to spend an hour preparing an amazing lasagna because you have to work late, then make a quick frozen dinner your plan for Wednesday. Set yourself up for a win, not for defeat.
- Boundaries – having a plan with your weekly schedule and not backing down. For introverts, this one might be a little easier, but it is still something we all have to learn to do in our planners. Make sure each week in your calendar, you have time set aside to decompress. This could be the day you catch up on your reading, your sleep, or your Netflix binging. Trust me, the best way to avoid burn out is to put this day in your schedule. Know yourself and realize whether you need a full day or can handle just a few hours. Either way, treat this appointment on your calendar like a coffee date with your best friend – rescheduling is ok once or twice, even canceling once in a while is fine with your best friend, but you would not cancel on them week after week or they would probably stop being your best friend.
- Structure – creating a pace for your life after college but before family. In college, structure is easy. Well, at least easier. You get the syllabus at the beginning of the quarter/semester; you know when breaks will be for vacation and when to cram for finals. Once this structure goes away, it can be hard to plan your life. For me, graduation seemed freeing: no more homework, no more cram seasons, books I want to read and more time with friends. After the initial excitement weaned, there was sheer panic of how to act like an adult and fill my hours after work. I did not have children to feed and ready for bed, I did not have a husband or boyfriend to plan dates out or in with. What in the world, was I going to do? The truth is, I did not do this well. I would spend super late nights out with friends, followed by lonely weekends in of not talking to single person. Once I found a structure that worked for me (Mondays at small group, Tuesdays by myself, Wednesdays leading high school girls, Thursdays out with friends, etc), it was easier to not find burn out or extreme boredom. It’s weird to think, the one thing I disliked most about high school and college is the one thing I craved as an adult.
These are not new ideas, these are not Pulitzer winning steps, but they are tried and true things that have worked for me, and I hope they work for you. If you have any questions, or further things to add, please let us know!