I met my husband Wes when I was 19.  He was 24.  A whirlwind of a year later, we were married!  Now, I’m 25 and he’s 31. Since it’s almost Valentine’s Day, I’m going to share a little of what God has revealed to me about love through five years of marriage and share my perspective on getting married at a young age.

Marriage is a powerfully tangible metaphor for God’s love.  The love and incredible bond between a married couple is just a glimpse of a believer’s relationship with God and of God’s love for His children.  I had a basic understanding of this idea before getting married, but now it becomes more evident to me everyday.  1 Corinthians 13:12-13 reads, “For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face.  Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known.  Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.”  This passage perfectly articulates that the mystery of God’s love is partially revealed to us here on earth in a unique way though marriage and that it will be fully revealed to us when we reach Heaven.

Marriage has also taught me about the necessity of relying on God to be able to love well.  John 13:34-35 reads, “A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  This passage of scripture has been really important to me in regard to my work in ministry and in simply modeling my life after Jesus’. Yet after five years of marriage, this passage has taken on a new meaning because, after the newlywed/head-over-heels love wears off and life gets tough, I’ve realized that any love I can muster on my own just isn’t enough.  Human love runs out, gives up, and gets old, but God’s love never fails.  It’s only by abiding in and operating out of His love that I am able to love unconditionally.

The past five years have also given me a new outlook on getting married young.  I’ve often heard it said that someone shouldn’t get married until he or she has experienced X, Y, and Z, and knows who he or she is – as if there has to be a certain amount of self-understanding before a person can make the unfathomably weighty commitment of marriage.  This was definitely not true for me.  I was 20 when I got married and, while I had every confidence that marrying Wes was the right thing to do, I was still in college, jobless, moving to a new city, and unsure of what I wanted to do in life.  I wasn’t even completely sure of my calling, yet I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God would reveal whatever He had in store for me over time and that that time would include being married to Wes.  In a sense, I didn’t know what I was doing but I knew it was ok.

I’ve learned the incredibly special thing about getting married young is that you get to figure out life together, and together is better. “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up…” (Eccl. 4:9-10).

This Valentine’s Day, if you’re pondering love and maybe even the leap of faith that is marriage, know that’s only by God’s love that any love is possible.  If God’s plan for you includes marriage, whether while you’re young or later in life, rest assured that love happens in His timing.  That timing might seem crazy when it happens, but that’s ok, because God knows what He’s doing even when we don’t.